#and i thought it would be funny if she's just constantly trying to attack charlie who just dodges and disarms the bombs with a smile

[iarrelm]

More Swap AU sketches

I was struggling to figure out if I wanted to swap Cherri and Sir Pentious and in the end I just decided that they aren't exactly swapped but Cherri shows up earlier than in canon.

Anyway, here are some thoughts about how events in episodes 1 and 2 would go:

Charlie gets a call from her father asking her if she'd go meet Adam in his place. She sees this as the perfect chance for Alastor to pitch the Hazbin Hotel to heaven. The more support for redemption the better, right?

Alastor doubts that Heaven will even hear him out, much less support the hotel, but he is interested in seeing the kind of power the angels have so he agrees to go.

When they meet Adam, Alastor is pretty good at keeping a straight face as Adam rambles. Charlie not so much.

Any demon that happened to be near the Heaven Embassy that day will tell you how terrifying it was to feel the ground shake before the Princess of Hell came out looking ready to kill with the Radio Demon trailing behind her.

Sir Pentious still attacks the hotel after he finds out that Alastor is the owner. However, instead of beating him up and sending him flying across the pride ring, Alastor pitches the hotel to him and asks if he wants to stay.

Sir Pentious is actually touched that Alastor would offer him a room. Maybe the radio demon didn't see him as a rival but actually wanted to befriend him!! He agrees to stay and is very enthusiastic about trying to redeem himself.

Alastor still finds Pentious a little annoying but he hides it really well. It actually becomes easier when he sees the genuine effort that Pentious puts into the activities. Finally, someone who's actually trying to get redeemed!

Husk doesn't really get jealous the same way Angel did. He still doesn't believe he can get himself into heaven. Sir Pentious seems to actually believe Alastor, so it's better to let him be Alastor's focus instead.

Cherri also shows up to attack the hotel. She wants to fight Charlie.

Since Charlie and Angel have been friends for a long time, Charlie's also become acquainted with Cherri.

Despite Cherri always attacking her on sight, Charlie fully believes they're friends. She's completely oblivious to Cherri's hostility.

Cherri still doesn't join the hotel right away. If I was writing the show and it's episodes, she'd be introduced in episode two in a way similar to Sir Pentious at the end of the pilot. But rather than Charlie beating her up, she just easily dodges and disarms all of Cherri's attacks with a smile and annoys her so much that she leaves in a huff.

When Husk starts staying at the hotel, he doesn't tell Vox. One of the terms of their contract was the Husk could keep his life outside of work to himself and he takes advantage of that.

Vox finds out through Velvette, who saw a clip of Sir Pentious attacking the hotel on Sinstagram and noticed Alastor and Husk in the background.

The next time he sees Husk for work, he demands that Husk tell him what Alastor is doing and why he decided to move in with him.

Husk reminds him that, as per their contract, he isn't obligated to tell him shit.

This causes Vox to wildly misunderstand Husk and Alastor's relationship and get even more pissed off.

[wondersofspite]

I just realized that most of Helluva’s main cast are POC (Alastor is mixed race, Vaggie is Salvadoran, Nifty is half Japanese) + Nearly all the center characters are heavily implied to have had bad past/current life condition, and that Charlie, a rich white person, is painted as the ones to help them/”redeem” them. (Not exactly biologically “white” per se, but look at me in the eyes and tell me she isn’t an walking talking white chick both in appearance and personality).

While that bit thought, popped up a possibly of “White Savior” sort of situation that was pretty darn uncomfortable, but at the same time, interesting. Like, if the writers fully twists the knife and actually delve into that concept. Charlie, a very privileged aristocrat who’s the least equipped to understand, deal or even have experienced any hardship, thinking her very simplistic, ignorant ideas of rehabilitation would be clue to all sinner’s problem. Like:

“Homeless? Here’s a hotel! Just ignore the horrors trauma you seen living on the street and be expected to completely obey every one of my orders! I am very friendly! Why would you paranoid of me? I in fact do no see the trouble with how folks like me (rich/upper class demons) who is the reason you got kicked out in the first place shall be untrustworthy and unreliable!”

And with that sort of attitude, let’s say, the hotel absolutely fails miserably. Because it’s both funny and slapstick and kinda reasonable. Patronization can only go so far till it turns off people. So, with that, let’s hop down to when the narrative hits it’s absolute lowest point. Thematically an era of the story where every character/narrative/protagonist are at their lowest point. Of addictions becoming worse due to the minimum supervision, grudges igniting out of bitter entitlement and poor communication, and people like Angel and Vaggie who are in possibility of begin attacked by outsiders/dragged back by abusive figures -

Except Charlie. She, at best, is stressed. There is no permanent physical or mental harm threatening her.

Now, say, the only redemy for this is for the hotel is to release all the occupants, for them to gain distant, to rinse itself and try again with other set of people. But, despite the character’s suffering, ironically, perhaps the hotel is in it’s peak popularity. People actually keep coming due to the lax law, for the free place, perhaps something even the main cast did attracts traffic. But the original occupants: The people most important and central to Charlie’s pitch is begin seriously hurt under her terrible management.

But Charlie, the old girl here, cannot truly comprehend the gravity of it cause she never faced those type of issues. Never ever had to.

So she keeps it going on, promising and swearing that things will get better, speaking of everything in rose-tinted glasses instead of facing the harsh truth. That what matters is the hotel is becoming mainstream, more people are coming: Unintentionally, prioritzing her hotel over her friends.

In an odd way, it would actually suit her premise as the child of Lucifer.

> Promising better future, only to actively benefit from other’s suffering.

> Constantly lying, lightening the gravity of situation, making “tempting” offers and promises

> Feeding into other people’s bad habits and keeping them in harmful environments.

[angelkurenai]

Imagine having a crush on Charlie Hunnam and Dean, your bodyguard, getting extremely jealous when, during an interview, you can’t stop flirting with the man who is also there as a guest.

“You know, all jokes aside, you seem a lot more calm this time. You're usually stressed out to go on interviews, no matter the host.” Dean remarked, his eyes taking in your figure.

Seriously, why don't you spread your legs a little more, I didn't quiet get the message yet. you almost said, and you most certainly thought, but only bit the inside of your cheek and looked away from Dean.

Your bodyguard leaned casually against his seat, knowing fully well just how distracting he was to you like that but not giving a damn. The suit did wonders, not that he needed it to. Though you had a growing suspicion he was well aware of it and was doing it on purpose just to get you back for everything you'd put him through.

“Well, for one I've had time to relax.” you shrugged, looking away, finding it easier to speak when you weren't looking at him “And I did plenty of it, to the point I'm looking forward to get back on the spotlight. Maybe you should try some of that? You are more stressed tonight.”

“You mean vacation?” he raised an eyebrow as you hummed.

“The kind of vacation that's meant to make me relax?” another questioned which you nodded your head at.

“Oh that kind of vacation, I see. So-” he paused, giving you a look “Not the kind of vacation that's a torture for me, filled with ice-cold showers and morning shots of whiskey because you're walking around in your bikini all day long and refuse to change unless it involves dressing down more? That kind of vacation?” he paused, eyebrow raised as he expected an answer to that before adding “Mind your own business.” he muttered, voice deeper as he glanced at the driver who had been not-so-subtly listening in.

“I-” you parted your lips to answer but ended up shrugging anyway “Guilty. But also, sorry not sorry. Besides, that's not the point here. I mean it, you could really use some vacation. Lately it seems that whenever I have an interview you're more stressed than me and my manager combined.”

“Do I? I wonder what the reason might be. Oh maybe it's the fact that last time I remember, you took part in a game that involved buckets of water being poured on you while wearing a white dress and what I rather vividly remember very little coverage underneath. And you-” he pointed a finger at the driver “If you dare google that, you're fired. Trust me I will know.”

“Yes, sir. I didn't hear a thing, sir.” the driver said with almost wide eyes, knowing fully well not to challenge Dean. It didn't matter how, he wasn't going to risk it.

Meanwhile, all you could do was roll your eyes “It was not buckets, only glasses of water. We were playing water war and just because you were giving me looks all night, I lost and Jimmy won. So yes, I blame you for that. Besides, I was wearing underwear, alright?”

“At this point I really wish you weren't. Wouldn't have been as... traumatizing.” he struggled a bit to say the word because if he really used the one he felt like, the one he wanted to, then he didn't know if you'd make it to the studio. But given the snort the driver gave then it couldn't be more wrong of a choice for a word.

“Social media didn't see it that way, as far as I remember. Including several celebrities I know of.” you shrugged, smirking “I don't know about you, I had plenty of fun.”

“And I had plenty of heart-attacks.” he muttered instead, mostly to himself.

“Either way, you don't have to sweat it this time. Graham doesn't have any sort of games, not of that kind anyway.” you brushed him off “Nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing to worry about. Nothing my ass. Son of a-” he sighed heavily, dragging a hand down his face.

At this point he would certainly take all the water the ocean had to offer, instead of whatever that fancy colored liquid that sat in the glass on your hand was. A glass you hadn't missed the opportunity to refill at least twice so far. And while that on it's own wasn't such a bad thing, combine it with a ridiculously attractive man who happened to be your celebrity crush – as you never failed, not for a second, to point out to Dean every time you got the chance – and a lack of inhibition and you had the perfect recipe for a catastrophe. Or Dean's death, whichever came first.

“So as you can imagine, now there's a bit of a problem there now. Mostly whenever I'm on a flight and what not.” Charlie explain as Graham nodded his head and you looked at him with a concerned frown.

“But it's not like it's left a problem with your hearing in general, right? You- you can hear well from that side of-” Graham started speaking.

“Well, generally speaking I can- I'm sorry what?” but as he was talking, Charlie started speaking at the same time only to pause and ask the question back instead, which made all of you burst into laughter.

“Wait- hey you!”

“Ah gotcha huh?” he grinned, his smile only getting brighter when he glanced in your direction, your giggles a tad louder and more easy thanks to the alcohol in your system. It was exactly that which had Dean on edge. One of the many signs that the alcohol was doing its job.

Much like the easy and inviting smiles. Much like the way you'd bite your lower lip at times, when he spoke. Much like, even when you were speaking, instead of looking at the host, your eyes would constantly jump on the man next to you on the couch. Much like when you laughed at something funny he said, your hand would rest on his shoulder or, worse, when it rested on his thigh. And if that wasn't driving Dean mad as it was already, when the actor only seemed to relax under your touch and lean in closer, it felt like he could only see red and that the tie around his neck was choking him. He was about to loosen it only to remember he had done that long ago. If there weren't people there, he'd have long ago jumped from his seat and started pacing around like a lion in a cage. His jumping leg was certainly proof of that, what with all of his twitching. He huffed, shaking his head before he narrowed his eyes at the scene before him. Every little action that unfolded before his eyes was proof of why he hated not being able to intervene when you had a little too much to drink.

“Territorial much, aren't we Deano?”

He remembered you asking with a smirk on your lips, which had very quickly and easily turned into a grin - if not a slightly drunken one - when you'd clearly seen the way his eyes had only darkened and his jaw, clenched and all, had twitched. The look he had given you was of a warning one, telling you not to test him further but after a party where you've had a little too much too drink and even more to flirt, with all those actors and celebrities around, you only saw it as a challenge. He knew real well he was being territorial, he didn't need you to ask. He had nearly punched a guy when he got his hands on you, and it was expected after he had been fuming in the corner and watching like a hawk when said hands lowered even further down your back and you leaned into him all giggling and touching. He was bound to explode and it came as no surprise that, even drunk, you would take notice of it and use it to your advantage. Granted, he couldn't pin you on the wall and mark you down nor slam you against the bathroom wall and have his way with you, but he could come up with ways to get in the way.

Not that the alcohol seemed necessary anyway. Snapping back to reality, the scene before him verified his thoughts. The way the man was looking at you, his undivided attention all yours, his eyes on you at all times and, even worse, his lingering touches could have very easily made you fall into his orbit without even a single drink needed.

“And here I thought that walking away with a bruise or two from the set of Marvel was too much. Oh how I love green screen now!” you laughed “I mean I've had several injuries before, but most of the time they're far too stupid to talk about. Besides, I always look one step away from total meltdown doesn't make much of a difference if you add an injury or two to the case, so- Cheers to that!”

Your words, as you raised your glass, earned a laugh from everyone around you, Graham not missing the opportunity to speak “See? That's exactly why she is my favorite guest! This is what everyone now calls is a total mood!”

The man next to you, who threw his head back and then looked at you with absolute adoration written all over his face “Oh I doubt that even at your worst you could look anything short of perfect, darling. In fact I feel like I should have received a warning, to make sure I was more properly dressed or something. I didn't know I'd be sitting right next to an angel tonight.” his accent wasn't making things easier as Dean could practically see you swoon.

“Oh, look who's talking. Please, don't have a single doubt Mr Hunnam, I can't take my eyes off you tonight!” you smiled, or more like smirked, at Charlie, whose smile only got bigger when he heard your words.

“Now it's my turn to blush, please.” he offered you a smile which you could only describe as adorable, if not irresistible given how you bit your lower lip “I mean, I'd say it's just me but I believe that everyone will agree when I say that I don't think there would be a single injury that can take from the beauty sitting next to me right now.”

“Why you flatter me so much, Charlie, but you say that only because you're too good and because you haven't seen me in the morning.” you pointed out, loving to see him raise an eyebrow “The whole rise and shine is the exact opposite of what I do. One, because I don't rise, I could stay in bed all day long, and two, because I can only shine as much as a black hole does.”

“While I could definitely argue with you on that one, dear, I'll only say that it's impossible to believe. I don't doubt for a second that you're any less beautiful. That could be just my imagination, sure, because I have no personal opinion or experience but-” he shrugged while the audience cheered for him and you laughed behind your hand, and the man lowered his head in slight embarrassment and rubbed the back of his neck “Besides-” he cleared his throat “In all seriousness, now, there is nothing wrong wanting to stay in bed till late.”

“And even more when there's good company for cuddles, right?” you raised a suggestive eyebrow at him, making him bite his lip in return as he lowered his head while laughing “Besides, I am never one to deny a man his chance at seeing how I really am in the morning.” you shrugged not in the least bit innocently, because Dean knew that look and the whole body posture you had and it had him gritting his teeth, before the audience cheered even more loudly at you “For- You guys! For research purposes, clearly. So that Charlie can testify that I am indeed the... human equivalent of a black hole in the morning! That's all.”

Your giggles could barely be heard as the audience clapped once more, some of them laughing as well. You instead bit your lip before taking another sip of your drink, Charlie doing the same.

As if by some miracle, or at least for Dean, this time it was Graham who spoke up “Why, for some reason, I feel like I am third-wheeling here? And I thought it was my show. I feel like you won't even realize it if I'm gone.”

“No Graham, of course not!” you reassured him with a smile “You know you're my favorite host! You're the star of this show, the one that makes the rest of us shine and bring out the best in us! The one who makes us laugh and have the time of our lives in the show! The one who makes us look forward to this! The one-” you paused , snickering as you glanced at Charlie “Boy am I drunk already?”

Everyone along with Graham, laughed. Well, everyone except for Dean, who looked like he was going to pounce any given second now, especially with how his arm was casually resting on the back of the couch, almost over your shoulders “It's alright, I think we all realised it by the second complement in a row.”

“Well, at least let's all be honest. It's at least slightly less embarrassing than me recounting mildly gross if not horrifying stories of all the injuries and infections I've gotten. Which, thank you, by the way, for, Graham. It's-” Charlie paused, nodding his head “Exactly as I pictured spending my night. Speaking about the times I got a moth in my ear and ran down a forest naked, while such a lovely lady is sitting next to me.”

“Oh trust the lady, she is very much enjoying the conversation, worry not!” you giggled and he grinned, finally resting his arm on your shoulders and giving you a squeeze.

“You're mostly welcome!” Graham laughed “But, speaking of- I noticed this and I wanted to ask you myself, this seems like a reoccurring pattern with you Charlie, isn't it? Like, I always hear you saying that you got sick this or the other way and you- correct me if I'm wrong, but you are someone who takes pride in their personal hygiene.”

“I- I'm a germaphobe, you can go ahead and say it.” he laughed “Yes, it's one way to describe it. Of course I- I do take pride in my personal hygiene but I do think it's exactly that which gets me. You know how these kinds of things end up turning against you? Well, yeah, that's what happens with me. I get sick all the time.”

“There is a saying about that, isn't it? I think I've heard it somewhere but I can't, for the life of me, remember it right now.” you mumbled with a deep frown.

“Oh yeah, you attract the most that which you fear the most.”

“Ah, yes! Yes.” you nodded your head, pausing only half a second before looking back up at nobody in particular “Oh how I fear Charlie Hunnam!”

And that was all it took for the crowd to erupt into cheers and for Dean to groan as he let his head fall into his hands. There was no need to look any more, the way the actor's eyebrows rose in interest and a smile spread on his face. He knew what was to follow, and he didn't mean just the interview, and that meant he had to prepare himself for whatever he had to do to keep and... if need be, maybe finally, mark his territory. But unlike any other time, he knew, it wouldn't be as easy.

“You- what? You guys! I was only... I'm just saying what every lady and gent here is thinking, that's all. Me? I'm just more or less... drunk. Drunk more than I initially assumed.” you laughed, shaking your head despite your burning face “Aah Graham, how I hate you.” you gave a sweet smile to the host and friend of yours as all he did was laugh at your misery.

“Ah Graham, how I love you.” Charlie said, laughing “Can we-” he looked away and around at the crew as he lifted his glass “Can we get come more of that here? Lovely drink. Truly lovely.”

“Lovely night.” Dean grumbled to himself, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest, eyes hard as he glared at the man before him and next to you. But truth was he knew that it was only the beginning of the night if not the beginning of a very long and tiring journey, which he didn't know if he'd make it through. Why?

Because as if on cue, as if he'd read Dean's thoughts, Charlie's eyes met his. The smile vanished from his lips for barely a few seconds, making Dean straighten his back and narrow his eyes at him. Because he'd, maybe, finally met his match. That's why.

[missnight0wl]

What do you think of Rowan, Ben, Penny and Merula's Patronus? Though I don't like Merula very much, I still think she is able to conjure one.

I’m putting it under the cut because it turned out a bit lengthy.

Rowan

I used to think of an Owl for Rowan because, y’know, it's “a symbol of wisdom” and all. But when I got this ask, I remembered that I found the site on Irish Astrology just days earlier – the same Rowling was using for birthdates and wand wood of the Golden Trio. Interestingly, each sign has assigned an animal there, and since the rowan tree is one of them, I decided to check it to find out that it’s a crane or a green dragon. A dragon makes me think of Charlie, but I did a little bit of digging on another option, and I have to say – I think I’m gonna stick with a Crane Patronus for Rowan.

This is what I found on the Crane symbolism:

Throughout Asia, the crane is considered as a bird of happiness and prosperity. The Japanese, Chinese, and Korean traditions relate it to longevity and fidelity.

Aristotle wrote about this bird that it always held a stone in its mouth so that if it fell asleep and the stone would fall down, the bird would wake. Thus crane symbolism came to be linked with vigilance.

I also checked Indian symbolism since Rowan is part Indian, and I found this:

[The Sarus crane] is also known as the eternal symbol of unconditional love and devotion and good fortune.

Interestingly, cranes are monogamous and they mate for life. That’s actually why in Japan, they’re often incorporated in wedding décor!

Overall, we have pretty positive symbolism. The parts about devotion and unconditional love sum Rowan up as a friend pretty well. We also have a part about vigilance which again is pretty fitting for Rowan who was probably the most aware from all of our friends that MC is indeed in constant danger – and that’s why they were suspicious of Ben (not because they simply didn’t like Ben – let’s remember that Rowan and Ben were friends at the end of a day).

Admittedly, “in some cultures, the meanings of crane birds can be negative: they represent deception, a harbinger of death, and even the symbol of the devil.” However, it’s actually a bit meta, considering all the people suspecting Rowan of being a traitor.

Ben

I really like the idea of a Lion Patronus for Ben. A Patronus form is not only about representing one’s personality, but also “the Patronus represents that which is hidden, unknown but necessary within the personality” - and it fits Ben’s bravery so nicely. I talk here mostly about Old Ben, but that’s also a pretty old idea of mine. I mean, Ben was always super brave when his friends needed it, he just couldn’t really accept it himself. I also find it kind of heart-warming to imagine Old Ben being intimidated by his own Patronus at first, only to become more and more comfortable around it with time.

Another thing, I remember reading once someone else’s point that it could be a funny reference to the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz – which, now that I think about it, Ben would be probably familiar with as a Muggleborn!

Now, as for New Ben… Well, honestly, I don’t think that Ben would be able to cast Patronus Charm at this very moment. He probably still feels too much guilt for Rowan’s death and whatnot. Still, I remembered a discussion I had with my friend after Rakepick’s Patronus was finally revealed, and she pointed out then that male lions tend to kill little cubs if they defeat a previous male lion and take over his pack. Y’know, to eliminate wrong genes. And you know what? It’s kind of what Ben did with his old self. Before the end of Y5, Ben had a pretty good understanding of bravery. There was that very sweet moment in the O.W.L.s TLSQ, for example:

But then, the end of Y5 happened, and Ben was like: “Nope. I know no fear and THAT’S bravery”.

Either way, I do hope that Ben will eventually return on his path of a healthy balance between his old and new self, and I have a feeling that a Lion would still be a pretty good match then.

Penny

Probably an unpopular opinion, but I always thought that Penny’s Patronus should be some kind of a predator. I once even proposed a Black Panther, but I didn’t have a lot of reasoning behind it, to be honest. Now, I think I’m gonna change it anyway, and I’ll say that Penny would have a Fox Patronus. This is information I found on it:

The fox is a natural trickster, and brilliantly charismatic. Those with this Patronus are often more reserved, but do have the social capability to speak to just about anyone. They are strongly ambitious and observant of the behaviour of others, watching key points in what others do and storing them for further reference, when they may need them. They are good talkers, meaning they can convince people to do what they want and make them think it was their idea in the first place.

Foxes are quick, intelligent and strongly ambitious. Although they are known for their cunning nature, they are very charismatic and easy to love. If your Patronus is a fox, you have an ability to think outside of the box and act quickly during emergency situations.

Penny is insanely ambitious about her Potions-making. She said on more than one occasion that she couldn’t pass the opportunity to brew more advanced Potion. She’s also obviously charismatic, and the part I might like the most is about “making others do what they want and even make them think it was their idea”. Because when you really think about it… it’s exactly Penny.

Like, making MC steal the ingredients for the Forgetfulness Potion and very similar situation again with the Draught of Peace (each time not even telling MC what it’s about until the very end). Making MC impersonate a Professor or a Prefect. All those situations could get us in pretty serious trouble. Yet, the best example in all of that is the Animagus TLSQ, in my opinion. 

The quest started with the rumours that Talbott is planning to become an Animagus, and so MC got intrigued and decided to help Talbott get ingredients, hoping that Penny could make an extra Potion for them. But then, it turned out that Penny doesn’t make the Potion for Talbott at all, and she wanted MC to take it instead. Moreover, Talbott was already an Animagus, so the whole story didn’t really make much sense from the very beginning. Now, it might be the case of Jam City screwing up badly in writing, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is basically what happened: Penny wanted to brew the Animagus Potion, so she sent Talbott to get MC intrigued in the whole thing, so MC thought it was their idea while Penny could brew her Potion. Now, tell me she’s not a Fox – especially that again it could’ve been pretty dangerous for MC if anything went wrong.

There’s also a part about thinking outside of the box and acting quickly during the emergency, and funnily enough, it’s also kind of true for Penny. The thing is that she doesn’t act well in those situations – but that’s a separate problem.

Also, I don’t know if you can tell it by now, but I totally believe that Penny should’ve been a Slytherin, and I will die on that hill. Just a digression.

Merula

Hm, how about a Mole? Or a Rat? :D Just kidding, of course. Mostly…

Seriously though, I had a bit of a problem with Merula. I thought of a Skunk or a Frilled-neck lizard at first, y’know, because they try to look more threatening as a self-defence mechanism. I considered a Yorkshire Terrier as well because they’re always yapping at bigger dogs. And while they kind of fit Merula, they’re definitely not perfect matches. Merula has no dog qualities whatsoever, and even though her aggression is probably caused by a lot of insecurities, skunks and frilled-neck lizards don’t really harm whatever threatens them. Merula does harm, whether physically or emotionally, and she’s pretty calculated in that.

So, I kept thinking about something else, and there was one option I was coming back to. And even though I didn’t fully like it at first, I think I’ll stick to it, and I’ll say that Merula would have a Black Mamba Patronus.

Here’s some information about Black Mambas:

Cloaked in the color of death and measuring over 14 feet in length, the Black Mamba is regarded as one of the most vicious snakes in the world. It’s also one of the most venomous. (…) Unlike many animals, which simply have an anger problem, Black Mambas are driven by an extreme form of fear-based aggression. Being exceedingly nervous, the slightest sense that the snake’s escape route is compromised may unleash an attack of unparalleled ferocity.

There’s also an interesting quote from the discussion on whether or not they chase humans:

No, they absolutely don’t chase humans. No snakes chase humans. However black mambas are so high-strung they’re practically hysterical the moment something makes them nervous, and they’re really not very intelligent. As a result, these snakes are extremely prone to absolute panic. If you corner a mamba, its fight/flight reflex is triggered, and it will freak out and try to fight you to escape. This involves wildly throwing itself around and biting you like 60 times in a row, if you don’t get the blazes out of the way. (…) And they’re not very good at evaluating the level of danger they’re in. Or… much of anything.

… and that’s basically Merula. She’s in a constant state of panic that people are better than her. Especially in earlier years, she constantly felt threatened by MC’s mere existence, even when MC was clear they just don’t care about her – so she was attacking. All. The. Freaking. Time.

Moreover, snakes in general are often associated with deceit, so there’s that.

Of course, there’s also much more positive symbolism around snakes, like a rebirth, transformation, or heling. And while I have no doubts that Jam City won’t give Merula a proper redemption arc (because they're too lazy about it), she clearly is a character who’s supposed to be all about redemption. So, I guess that’s another reason why a Black Mamba would fit nicely, even though it seems a bit stereotypical for a Slytherin (then again, Merula totally should’ve been a Gryffindor, but that’s a topic for a different discussion).

[humans4vampires]

Cold Heart

Context: This story was inspired by a tumblr post from tumblr user @cozycullens. The post outlined the potential for sappy holiday content that the original story lacked. The post noted that Twilight fans had to fill in the blanks; I thought it would be fun to write out what Valentine’s Day could have looked like for Edward and Bella. The timeline of this story edits the original canon, meaning the breakup in New Moon and subsequent recoupling happens earlier, allowing the pair to be reunited in time to spend both the Christmas holiday season together and Valentine’s Day. This is before the events are set in motion for the vampire army attack in Eclipse. I’d also like to mention that this story addresses a scene that occurs later in the timeline of the novel. I’ve edited it here to give Edward and Bella a bit of private time that is free of the pressures that the later happenings of Eclipse bring to the moment. In this, I have used direct quotes from Meyer’s novel, and I do not claim to own that content in any way. As stated, this is purely for fun and to share with my fellow Twilight fans.

READ PART TWO HERE

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The dull blue grey light of the morning filtered through my window in a haze, waking me gently from inconsequential dreams. My natural instincts to unfurl myself from my usual swaddle of blankets to reach for him felt empty and unnecessary. Rather, I found myself spread across my bed in a sweaty mess of fabric.

“Edward?” I said softly, propping myself up to take in the room. I blinked quickly and tried to brush the mess of my hair from my face, speaking his name again as a question. There was no reply.

I tried to think back to the night before; I didn’t think he had gone hunting. No, he had surely been with me when I fell asleep. A compilation of Victorian poetry was open face-down on his side of my bed. We made the trip to Seattle a few weeks ago to get the book I needed to get started on my research paper. I had chosen the topic of Tennyson and Rossetti as an ironic gesture toward him – my very own post-Victorian era angel. He was reading his favorites to me, his voice a velvet whisper when I had fallen asleep in his cool embrace.

No, I was sure he had been with me throughout the night. I ran my left palm over the bare sheet beside me and felt the lingering presence of his wintry skin. It was unusual for him to leave before I woke. It was my favorite part of each day, and his. I was wondering what had called him away as I picked up the heavy text to see where he had left off. As I turned the pages to face me, a small piece of paper fluttered into my lap. The note he had left in his elegant script explained his absence.

‘Who are wise in love, love most, say least. Happy Valentine’s Day, love.’

He quoted Tennyson, I was sure, but the poem he had left open was not the same one he referenced. Instead, the book was open to Tennyson’s ‘Crossing the Bar,’ which was certainly not a love poem. I scanned it quickly, trying to garner any meaning from it without success. My mind was racing elsewhere, my heart beating quickly with exultant dread. So he had gone to prepare whatever exorbitant Valentine’s Day surprise he had planned. As fate would have it, this holiday had arrived on a school day and would provide a public audience to witness the surely over-the-top display Edward had planned for me.

Edward’s obsession with making the most of my human experiences had only intensified since reaching our compromise for Carlisle to turn me after my impending high school graduation. Christmas had been a deluge of cheer and merriment thanks to Alice, who was overcompensating for lost time with me – while also, just being Alice. I was still convinced it hadn’t snowed quite as much as she’d wanted and she had somehow managed a snow machine to fill in my yard for Christmas morning. Alice had laughed off my assumptions as absurd, but Charlie was still trying to work out how our yard had had a good three feet more snow than the rest of our neighborhood.

The halls had certainly been decked in Cullen home, too. It had to be visible from space from the sheer amount of Christmas lights neatly hung on every eave and railing. For the entire month of December, the house smelled of fresh gingerbread and pine. Every surface had been transformed with fresh garlands and shiny decorations. The fireplace in the grand living room was constantly crackling a gentle fire, flickering its light against the enormous tree trimmed with ornaments gathered over the many decades of Christmases past. And the gifts – oh – I couldn’t even bring myself to continue the thought.

I was brought back to reality, the sweet valentine in my shaking hand. I took a staggered breath and made a passing glance at the clock as I rushed to the bathroom. I tried not to think about the day ahead as I dressed. Charlie had already left for the station and the rest of my morning at home seemed to move in a blur of anxiety. I stumbled out the door in a black turtleneck, jeans, bean boots, and my mustard yellow coat. I thought my very standard attire might signal Edward to my disinterest in any outlandish public displays of affection. I drove slowly to Forks High School through the rain muddled snow. My truck dredged through the sludge into the parking spot beside the familiar silver Volvo.

The parking lot was already full and busy with the usual Friday commotion. I looked out my rearview mirror to take in the pops of pink and red from the Valentine’s baubles that everyone seemed to be toting. I had always found the holiday rather arbitrary – a well-marketed event to boost the sales of chocolates and flowers. Until my mother had found Phil, Valentine’s Day was usually spent in front of the television with a pint of ice cream, two spoons, and a chick-flick. I was trying to remember the last Valentine’s Day movie my mom and I had watched together when a quick knock on my driver’s side window snapped my eyes from my rearview.

The morning’s panic melted from my bones as I took him in. Edward was standing there, my favorite crooked smile on his lips, a single and perfect red rose held up in his hand.

“Good morning,” he murmured as I opened my door and got to my feet to stand in front of him. “Did you get my Valentine?”

“Mmm,” I hummed. “Tennyson?”

He nodded, a smirk crossing his expression. “Happy Valentine’s Day, love.”

I felt a blush beginning to mark my cheeks and looked down at my feet as he handed me my rose. He moved to rest that now empty hand above my head on the frame of my truck, leaning to tighten the space between us. His free hand swept down my jaw, his gentle fingers stopping below my chin to tilt my head up. He bent down to press his lips to mine, his cool breath sending my delicate humanity into a tailspin. The kiss was, as expected, refined… at first. Unexpectedly, he draped an arm around my body to pull me closer to his frame. He lifted me effortlessly to continue the kiss as my free hand found its way around the base of his neck and into his bronze hair.

When his response became rigid and he began to return my feet to their reluctant ground, I realized I had forgotten to breathe. My legs trembled against the sudden gravity and he steadied me as I took in sharp breaths. He chuckled lightly and shook his head.

“What am I going to do with you?” he teased.

“With any hope, that, again.”

He took a slow step back and smirked, “I do enjoy sweeping you off your feet.”

My head was still spinning as I grabbed my bag from the truck and shut the door behind me. Edward took my right hand as we walked to class, my single rose in the left.

The rest of the day continued on and I was a happy bystander to the couples declaring their love for one another throughout the day. It seemed each period passed with another sudden delivery of roses, large teddy bears, or chocolates. Joyce Lowell in Government received a loud serenade from half of the school’s marching band, her boyfriend, Aaron, the faux-conductor. Each time the door to the classroom opened my heart skipped a beat with the fresh fear that Edward might have some embarrassing demonstration planned. I wasn’t eager to hurt his feelings and so I kept the question from him all day. I had cracked by fifth period when he finally asked, “Why is your heart is thrumming like a hummingbird’s?”

“I’m worried that you have a grand romantic gesture planned,” I took a sharp breath, anxious for his response. My heart rate only increased when he shrugged and walked ahead of me into the classroom.

I was at a loss for words when he chuckled. “Am I not allowed a grand gesture on Valentine’s Day?” Panic rushed through me before he continued in a more serious tone, “Do you honestly believe that my romantic displays are akin to those of someone like Mike Newton?”

His eyes glanced down at the trinkets gathered in my arms. I thought this tradition had been left in elementary school, but it seemed my friends still enjoyed giving each other Valentine’s treats. Jessica and Angela both had given me small paper crafts and chocolates to mark the occasion. Even Tyler and Eric participated, handing out boxes of tiny heart candies.

The only class Edward could not manage to work out to have with me our senior year was math – considering my being in a far lower level than was excusable for him to fail into. This, of course, was the only class I had exclusively with Mike. I had found it funny that it bothered Edward in the slightest; until today, when Mike seized the opportunity to give me a large stuffed bear, a rather huge box of chocolates, and a clearly handmade valentine. All platonically, Mike had assured me, as he was still on-and-off with Jessica and I was still very much Edward’s – only Edward’s.

I shook my head as I fumbled to stack all of my favors onto a pile on my desk, keeping the rose in my hand to tap lightly on the tip of Edward’s nose.

He tilted his brow at my playful gesture. “You have nothing to worry about. I simply have arranged for us to have a night alone. My family have their own Valentine’s Day traditions and we’ll have the house to ourselves. For this one night could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?” he pleaded, unleashing the full force of his eyes on me. “It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you.”

“No,” I shook my head again. “Just you is good.”

The hitch in my tone caught his attention, but he didn’t have a chance to respond. Mr. Banner began lecturing on optics and light. I couldn’t focus on Physics; I could only hear Edward’s methodic voice repeating ‘I need to be with you’ again and again. Each passing thought brought a new blush to my cheeks that I tried to hide behind a curtain of my hair. I was sure he could hear my fluttering heart, but I couldn’t focus on that either. I was entirely clouded with thoughts of him. I stared at his strong hands, folded together in front of him on the table. How I imagined them on my body a million times, his cold fingertips grazing over my bare skin in the places he refused to wander. It was all I could think of the rest of the day.

When I was back in my room, a different blur of anxiety plagued me than when I had left it in the morning. Edward and I went our separate ways after school. He had filled me in on how exactly he had planned to handle the issue of Charlie. My father was still learning to trust me again and another night out of the house was certainly going to come under some heavy interrogation. I was technically still grounded even though Edward had been following Charlie’s very strict rules to a perfect degree. I was sure that Charlie hadn’t missed the fact that it was Valentine’s Day and I could only imagine the things he would think Edward and I would be doing if left alone. I was pressing the subject when Edward said, “Esme spoke with Charlie today and let him know that Carlisle is taking my brothers and I on a long-promised camping trip. You’ll be having a girls’ night with Esme, Alice, and Rosalie, as Charlie knows it. He’s been hoping you’d be spending more time with Alice soon.”

I felt a twinge of guilt for all the lying that had to be done to protect Charlie. This lie was much less to protect him from the perils of life threatening vampire attacks and much more about protecting him from the thought of his teenage daughter being alone with her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. The guilt subsided when I remembered that I would get to be alone with Edward.

I stood in my room, hands steadying me on my dresser, knees shaking from the anticipation. The mix of emotions kept wracking me in waves. Edward had made it very clear; we could not be together physically until I was changed. My safety, was not something he was willing to jeopardize to satisfy any desire – which, to his credit, was entirely the reason I was alive. It was difficult to argue with Edward on that fact, but it was so incredibly difficult to argue with my own desires, still. And yet, I felt foolish all the same. I was so intensely human. Though he’d told me many times that he felt the same way for me, I knew he couldn’t possibly lust for me the way I did for him. I was able to reason that point logically, but part of me questioned it in this moment. Had he changed his mind?

I knew what was waiting for me at the Cullens’. It hadn’t been much more than a month since the last time I had genuinely spent the night there for a ‘girls’ night.’ Edward didn’t want me anywhere near Jacob and so Edward had been avoiding distant hunting trips to keep a close watch on me. Alice was all too eager to babysit to allow Edward a satiating hunt; it left me free to be played with as if I were her life-sized doll. That wasn’t what I was fixated on now. The image of the intricate wrought-iron bed burned in my mind. The thought of Edward and I wrapped tenderly in its golden threads made me quiver again, a sigh escaping my lips.

A knock at the front door made my heart stutter. I heard Charlie gather himself up off the couch to get the door. I stopped listening and only heard the light murmur of greetings as I rushed to find something appropriate to wear. What kind of outfit were you supposed to put together to seduce your vampire boyfriend? I was clashing hangers together across the pole, a bit frantic, when I heard her behind me.

Alice shook her head. “You look like you need to sit down. Let me handle this,” she said.

I decided it was better not to argue with her. I was, in all fairness, a mess, and there was only so much harm she could do with my own wardrobe to work with. She confidently pulled my small duffle from the top shelf of my closet and began packing things without truly looking at them. She had already seen what she would need.

I was sitting in my rocking chair when she looked back to me, still absently packing my bag. She looked like she was waiting for me to say something, but I swallowed uncomfortably rather than working up the nerve to talk.

She cast me a sympathetic smile as she removed something from my closet and tossed it toward me. “Try this,” she said.

I stood to change into the hyacinth blue sweater Alice had given it to me as a Christmas gift. Unlike many of the other fashion pieces Alice had tried to dress me in, I did like it. It was soft, probably a thin cashmere, with a plunging V neckline. It fit my frame tightly and was flattering in a way that I couldn’t justify being embarrassed by. She moved to my dresser then, digging through the very bottom drawer to pull out a short skirt she had also gifted me that I was not particularly fond of. Before I could argue, she slung it onto the bed.

“Work with me here, Bella,” she said sternly.

I pulled on the black skirt without a fight. Alice finished off my outfit with a pair of expensive black leather boots.

“And those were a gift from Esme, before you think of disputing them,” she lectured.

“No, I like them. At least they’re covering more of my skin,” I said, zipping them up.

Alice peaked her eyebrows, a smirk budding on her face as she closed my bag. I felt the rush of blood on my complexion again. “Alice – “

“Come on, let’s go before you lose it,” she said quickly, pulling my hand and leading me out of my room and down the stairs.

Charlie didn’t bother looking away from the television as we called a quick goodbye to him. Alice carried me through the slush in a movement so brief that I had no time to process it, placing me in the passenger seat of her small yellow Porsche. Forks blurred outside the windows and in the darkness of the car, it was easier for me to talk about what I was getting myself into.

“Does he…” I asked in her direction, not finishing the thought.

“I don’t think I should really say anything, Bella.” She answered, plainly.

“Since when do you keep things to yourself, Alice?”

She chuckled quietly, “Whatever I say now is not going to help. I’m just dropping you off. You’re not the only one with Valentine’s Day plans, you know.”

“That’s not fair,” I complained. “He’s seen whatever you’ve seen. He’s not going into this blind like I am.”

“Oh, yes he is,” she said proudly. “I’ve been careful to stay away from him today – and it’s not quite clear what’s going to happen. You’ve only been growing bolder in the last few hours.”

Bolder? I certainly didn’t feel it. In the light of the dashboard, I saw Alice turn to me as the car began to slow. We were already in the driveway. When the car stopped, I felt a quick breeze from the opening and closing of her door. She had slung my bag over her shoulder quickly before arriving at my door to help me to the porch steps. I doubted even Alice thought I was that uncoordinated to walk a few feet without falling; she was carrying me everywhere to keep the boots safe, I thought. She set me down on the porch and walked ahead of me into the house. I followed her in, confused.

“I thought you said you were just dropping me off?”

                  We were in the living room when she said, “I am. Edward isn’t here yet. He had an errand to run. He’ll be here soon and we’ll be gone – don’t worry.”

                  A fresh blush met my cheeks as I locked eyes with the another set in the room. Rosalie was perched on the edge of the sofa, bent over the coffee table arranging what looked like a large photo album. She had small papers and photos scattered all over the table, some in small piles on the floor beside her. She gazed up at me with the come-to-be-expected level of enthusiasm I generally received, but there was a hint of something else in her expression. It caught me by surprise and left me gawking at her silently. Rosalie’s appearance always struck me, but tonight she was especially beautiful. Her tight satin dress was just the perfect shade of red to compliment her equally satin skin, her golden hair a perfect, elegant twist, and her long bare legs crossed in front of her were only further elongated by her strappy, red stilettos. Alice had done her best with me, but I felt myself self-consciously tug at the hem of my skirt.

                  That inexplicable look that I had caught in Rosalie’s expression seemed to grow stronger as she gauged my assessment of her. A small smile crossed her lips as she looked back to what she was working on and I looked to Alice, who was dancing back down the stairs now. I hadn’t noticed her departure, but she was already redressed in an ensemble that mirrored the glamour of Rosalie’s. Alice bent one leg up behind her, fastening the tiny buckle on the strap of her heel, careful not to bend and crease the fabric on her burgundy slip-dress.

“Alright, Rose. Let’s not keep them waiting any longer.” Alice rolled her eyes at me quickly before Rosalie noticed. Alice had her keys in her tiny hands as she walked my direction to head for the door.

“I will see you tomorrow,” she said with a coy grin.

Rosalie was out the door faster than I could follow. I turned to Alice as she moved at a more mortal pace. “Where are you going?” I asked.

Alice waved as she replied, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Bella!” The door was shut behind her then. I heard the muffled roar of her Porsche as she and Rosalie left me behind. I assumed that I was completely alone then. I was curious to know where they were going, but my mind was busy calculating other worries. I stood in the Cullens’ living room, taking in the sheer silence. The only sound was coming from the low burning fire still crackling dimly in the fireplace. I unlocked my tense limbs to move toward the heat. I stopped briefly to survey Rosalie’s project and flipped through a couple of pages on the bound album.

Were these all valentines? I picked up a few loose papers from the table and skimmed them quickly. It seemed that Rosalie had been collecting notes from her admirers for decades, compiling the highlights in an album with cards dating back to 1929. Some of the earlier letters were from when she was still human, if I wasn’t mistaken. A few authors were brave enough to sign their names, but most were anonymous confessions. I spent more time snooping through Rosalie’s valentines than I should have, but part of me thought that she must have wanted me to see them. Why else would she have left them all here?

I focused myself again and took a seat on the edge of the hearth.

                  I was glad I had a moment to gather myself and took the opportunity to take a few deep, but unsteady, breaths. Why was I so unnerved? I closed my eyes and tried to summon my buried fantasies of Edward. There I let myself imagine him, pulling me tightly to his chest, letting his lips roam my jaw, my neck, and the dips of my collarbones. What would he look like bare? I’d only been able to guess the parts of him that were always just beyond my reach. I let those thoughts in too, imagining my own fingers tracing patterns around the curves of his muscles. To bring him close to me, skin to skin – the thought alone painted my face in a soft blush. I bit my lip, letting go a full breath I had been holding. I opened my eyes then and immediately found him.

He was standing across the room from me, a statue of indescribable, sculpted beauty, leaning on the wall casually. He had a peaceful expression resting in his features, but his bright golden eyes were burning with something I couldn’t explain. My favorite crooked smile slowly crossed his lips as his eyes seemed to search my body. I blushed more deeply, a decision forming more firmly in my mind.

I loved him, purely, and every ounce of my body and soul ached to be his. It was exactly the reason I had asked him to change me himself. I wanted his venom to alter me permanently, his lips on my skin to be the last human sensation I’d ever feel. I wanted to be tangibly his, forever; for Edward to lay claim to me in an absolute and eternal way. If I was his, then he was mine. This desire burned in me more brightly in this moment than it ever had. But there were other human sensations I ached for now. And suddenly, I was sure I was not willing to sacrifice them.

Edward moved slowly across the room to perch in front of me. The height of the hearth and his tall body in a crouch before me, leveled us to be equally face-to-face. As he bent, he balanced a small, thin velvet box on my knees. I made no move to open it, so he chuckled lightly and opened it to reveal a small glittering heart-shaped charm. Even in the dim firelight, the brilliant crystal’s intricate cuts glinted countless sparkling rays of color. It was hung on a silver chain as thin as thread.

He was the first to break the silence.

“It was my mother’s.” He shrugged deprecatingly. “I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I’ve given some to Esme, Alice, and Rosalie throughout the years. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way.” I could feel his eyes on me, but I continued to stare down, not quite ready to speak. “A hand-me-down,” he reminded me sternly. “You said that was allowable.”

“I guess I did say that,” I said in a whisper.

He chuckled at my reluctance. “I thought it was a good representation,” he continued. “It’s hard and cold.” He laughed. “And it throws rainbows in the sunlight.”

“You forgot the most important similarity,” I murmured. “It’s beautiful.”

“My heart is just as silent,” he mused. “And it, too, is yours.”

I offered the box to him and moved to gather my hair away from my neck, turning to the fire. As he moved to clasp the chain around my neck, I said, “Thank you for both.”

His fingers seemed to linger on the skin of my throat as I turned back to face him. Our lips were only inches apart now. I moved my hands to wrap them around his neck.

“No, thank you. It’s a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you, too.” He grinned, flashing his teeth.                   His eyes wandered down to take pride in his accepted gift. I was grateful for the plunging neckline of my sweater when his gaze lingered where the crystal charm hung delicately above my chest. I made a mental note to thank Alice later and took a steadying breath. I began to feel cautiously optimistic. Perhaps getting what I wanted would not be as difficult as I’d expected it to be.

No, of course it was going to be just exactly that difficult. I cleared my throat lightly and braced myself. “Can we discuss something?” I asked. “I’d appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded.”

He hesitated for a moment and returned his eyes to mine. “I’ll give it my best effort,” he agreed, cautious now. He unwrapped my arms from around his neck as he moved to put space between us.

“I’m not breaking any rules here,” I promised. “This is strictly about you and me.”

“Listen to your heart fly,” he murmured. “It’s fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings,” he repeated the analogy he had applied to me earlier in the day. “Are you all right?”

“I’m great,” I said formally. I wondered why I was being so formal.

“Please go on then,” he encouraged.

“Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition.”

“It’s only ridiculous to you. What about it?” He was backing further away from me now.

I leaned closer to him, placing my hands on his knees to keep him near me. “I was wondering… is that open to negotiation?”

Edward frowned, serious now. “I’ve already made the largest concession by far and away – I’ve agreed to take your life against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part.”

“No.” I shook my head, focusing on keeping my face composed. “That part’s a done deal. We’re not discussing that now. I want to hammer out some other details.”

He looked at me suspiciously. “Which details do you mean exactly?”

I hesitated. “Let’s clarify your prerequisites first – matrimony?” I made it sound like a dirty word.

“Yes.” He smiled a wide smile. “To start with.”

The shock spoiled my carefully composed expression. “There’s more?”

“Well,” he said, his face calculating. “If you’re my wife, then what’s mine is yours… So there would be no issue with Dartmouth tuition.”

“Anything else? While you’re already being absurd?”

“Time. I’m finding it quite ephemeral… like it’s slipping through my fingers,” as he spoke, he rose his finger tips to sweep a gentle line over my exposed collarbones.

I shook my head, trying to forget his distracting touch. “No. No time. That’s a deal breaker.”

He sighed longingly. “Just a year or two?”

I refused to give into his burning amber eyes. “What else?”

“That’s it. Unless you’d like to talk cars…”

He grinned widely when I grimaced, then took my hand and began playing with my fingers. “I didn’t realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I’m extremely curious.” His voice was low and soft. The slight edge would have been hard to detect if I hadn’t known it so well.

I paused, staring at his hand on mine. I still didn’t know how to begin. I felt his eyes watching me and I was afraid to look up. The blood began to burn in my face.

His cool hand cupped my cheek. “You’re blushing?” he asked in surprise. I kept my eyes down. “Please, Bella, the suspense is painful.”

I bit my lip.

“Bella.” His tone reproached me now, reminding me that it was hard for him when I kept my thoughts to myself.

“Edward,” I said, nervous, staring at a freckle on my wrist. “There’s something that I want to do before I’m not human anymore.”

He waited for me to continue. I didn’t. My face was hot.

“Whatever you want,” he encouraged, anxious and completely clueless.

“Do you promise?” I muttered, knowing my attempt to trap him with his words was not going to work. But he was unable to resist my coaxing.

“Yes,” he said. I looked up through my lashes to see that his eyes were earnest and confused. “Tell me what you want, and you can have it.”

I couldn’t believe how awkward and idiotic I felt. I was too innocent. I didn’t have the faintest idea how to be seductive. I would just have to settle for flushed and self-conscious.

“You,” I mumbled almost incoherently.

“I’m yours.” He smiled, still oblivious, trying to hold my gaze as I looked away again.

I took a deep breath and leaned closer to him, pressing my lips to his. He kissed me back, bewildered but willing, his lips gentle against mine. I began to slide my hands from his knees, up his thighs and slowly toward his waist. I hadn’t gotten very far when I all but heard the click in his head as he put together my words and my actions, his lips freezing in place.

He pushed me away at once, his face heavily disapproving.

“Be reasonable, Bella.”

“Edward, I –. “ He had cut me off, placing a single finger over my lips to quiet me.

“No.” His face was hard.

I was surprised by my reaction to his dismissal. I raised my hand to swat at his. My action didn’t move him, of course, but he moved his hand from my mouth in response. “You are not going to shush me,” I said sternly. “We’re here discussing terms of an eternity together – marriage and other promises – but sex?” I said the word louder than the rest. “Edward, why can’t we talk about sex?”

He was frozen there, hands at his side, eyes locked on mine. I felt the charge of adrenaline passing quicker than it had come. We sat there for a moment in silence with only my quick breathing and rapid pulse as audio. I shifted my gaze down as the rush subsided. It took me a minute to recognize why I was staring at my freckle again, the blush returning – why my stomach felt uneasy, why there was too much moisture in my eyes, why I suddenly wanted to run from the room.

Rejection washed through me, instinctive and strong.

I knew it was irrational. He’d been very clear on other occasions that my safety was the only factor. Yet I’d never made myself quite so vulnerable before. It was hard to beg for the mercy of an angel.

Edward moved then, bringing his hand up to my chin to pull my face up until I had to look at him again. He scrutinized my face for a long moment while I tried unsuccessfully to twist away from his gaze. His brow furrowed, and his expression became horrified as I continued to fight off the onslaught of water in my eyes.

His other hand rushed to my cheek, his thumb stroking there reassuringly. “You know why I have to say no,” he murmured. “You know that I want you, too.”

“Do you?” I whispered, my voice full of accusation and doubt.

He held my face at my jaw now, his fingers on my neck at the base of my hair. “Of course I do, you beautiful, oversensitive girl.” He laughed once, and then his voice was bleak. “Doesn’t everyone? I feel like there’s a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake… You’re too desirable for your own good.”

It seemed like he wanted to press on, anxiety flooding him as it had me throughout the day. I took a breath.

“Tell me if I have anything wrong,” I tried to sound detached. “Your demands are marriage, college, more time, and a faster car.”

“Only the first is a demand,” he said taking a breath. “The others are merely requests.”

“And my lone, solitary demand is – “

“Demand?” he interrupted, on edge again.

“Yes, demand.” I said confidently, looping my fingers around his wrists and tugging until he dropped them. I was not going to concede, now that I knew he wanted this as badly as I did. I would have to be brave for the both of us. I kept my gaze locked on his, placing a hand on his chest to request more space between us.

Edward immediately responded, backing up slightly and resting on his knees with room in front of him. Without breaking the contact we had, I slid down so that we were both on our knees. I brought both hands to the collar of his shirt and began to unbutton slowly, never moving my eyes from his.

“Please,” I begged. “There is nothing I want more than you.”

He took a deep breath. I was surprised that it sounded a little unsteady.

“I could kill you,” he whispered.

I had the last button undone then and slid the fabric from his shoulders to the floor. I was gliding my hands down his chest and placing my lips over his heart when I murmured against his skin. “I don’t think you could.”

As I kissed him there, a low sound escaped his lips. A moan? My body ached in a way it never had. I felt electrified. My heart jolted, words tumbling out of my mouth to take advantage of the sudden uncertainty in his eyes. “Please, try,” I pleaded.

His hands were wrapped around my biceps then, his head bent down to bring his lips to my ear, making me shiver. “This is unbearable. So many things I’ve wanted to give you – and this is what you demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, refusing you when you plead with me this way?”

“Then don’t refuse,” I suggested breathlessly.

He didn’t respond. I tossed my head back to catch my breath, letting my hair fall down behind me. Edward’s hands still held my arms firmly. “Please,” I tried again.

He bent his head to my neck. “Bella…” He shook his head slowly, but it didn’t feel like denial as his face, his lips, moved back and forth across my throat. It felt more like surrender. My heart sputtered frantically when his lips finally stopped to embrace my skin. The same low sound spilled from my lips now, which seemed to hit Edward with the same electrical shock.

His grip tensed instantly and I was sure he was going to push me away again.

I was wrong.

His lips were on mine, his hands pulling me up to close the space between us. His mouth was not gentle; there was a brand-new edge of conflict and desperation in the way his lips moved. When his hands moved into my hair, I locked my arms around his neck, tightening my hold on him. To my suddenly overheated skin, his body felt colder than ever. I trembled, but it was not from the chill.

He didn’t stop kissing me. I was the one who had to break away, gasping for air. Even then his lips did not leave my skin, they just moved to my throat. So quickly that I wasn’t even sure how it happened, I was in his arms, his lips still exploring my skin, as we nearly flew through the house. Human velocity was not fast enough for him. We were in his bedroom then, still locked in each other’s arms as he fell onto his back on the bed.

The thrill of victory was a strange high; it made me feel powerful. Brave. My hands weren’t unsteady now and my fingers traced the patterns I had dreamed of a thousand times. He was too beautiful. What was the word he had used? Unbearable – that was it. His beauty was too much to bear…

I was on top of him, our lips pulled together again and moving in heated sync. Edward’s hands were exploring my body. His hands were tight around my waist, straining me closer to him. All I wanted was my skin to be bare against his – his grip made it difficult to reach to remove my sweater, but not impossible. Just as I had my stomach exposed, cold iron fetters locked around my wrists, and pulled my hands above my head, which was suddenly on a pillow.

His lips were at my ear again. “Bella,” he murmured, his voice warm and velvet. “Stop trying to take your clothes off.”

“Do you want to do that part?” I asked breathlessly.

“Not tonight,” he answered softly. His lips were slower now against my cheek and jaw, all the urgency gone.

“Edward, don’t –,” I started to argue, trying to free my hands and arching my body to mold myself more closely to him.

“I’m not saying no,” he reassured me. “I’m just saying not tonight.”

I had never felt frustration this way before. I was restless, eyes wild and questioning on his.

“I wasn’t born yesterday,” he laughed. “Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won’t go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am – clearly – much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore… you first.”

I exhaled with a loud huff. “I have to marry you first?” I asked in disbelief.

“That’s the deal – take it or leave it. A compromise.” Edward pressed himself to me, urging me to accept his terms. His arms wrapped around me, and he began kissing me in a way that should be illegal. Too persuasive – it was duress, coercion. I tried to keep a clear head… and failed quickly and absolutely.

“How did this happen?” I moaned, and not in a good way. “I thought I was holding my own tonight – for once – and now, all of a sudden – “

“You’re engaged,” he finished.

“Edward, no.” I objected.

“Are you going back on your word?” he demanded. He pulled back to read my face. His expression was entertained. He was having fun.

I glared at him, trying to ignore the way his smile made my heart react.

“Are you?” he pressed.

“No,” I groaned. “No. I’m not. I just need time to think. I can’t think right now – give me some time to think.”

He kissed me again quickly. Another too persuasive kiss.

“Take all the time you need.”

He kissed me another time. “Do you get the feeling that everything is backward?” he laughed. “Traditionally, shouldn’t you be arguing my side, and I yours?”

“There isn’t much that’s traditional about you and me.”

Neither of us would surrender in this moment – that was clear. But there were compromises that were pending on the horizon. And, if nothing, I had this night to service my fantasies for awhile. I bit my lip and chuckled.

“I’m curious,” I sighed. “What exactly did you have planned for tonight?”

He didn’t answer. Instead he was up and out of the bed, a hand extended toward me.

I let out my last sigh of contest and threw my hands down on the bed to heave myself up. Edward laughed to himself as I slid to the edge of the bed and stood. I fidgeted in my sweater and straightened my skirt as I walked toward him. I took his hand and noticed him taking in my figure again.

I raised a brow. “Did you want to get back in bed?”

Edward chuckled again, shaking his head. “No, but please do remind me to thank Alice in the morning.”

I rolled my eyes as he led me from his bedroom and into the rest of our romantic evening alone.

PART TWO

 ____

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Twilight Saga world, which is trademarked by Stephenie Meyer and Little Brown Books. All characters referenced are owned by Stephenie Meyer, and I do not claim any ownership over them or the Twilight Saga. The story told here is of my own invention. This story is for entertainment only – fun – and is not part of the official story line. I am grateful to Stephenie Meyer for the creation of these characters and I in no way am profiting from the creation and publication of this story. Some lines are directly quoted from Meyer’s book, Eclipse, and I do not claim to own Meyer’s words.

References:

Meyer, Stephenie. Eclipse. Little, Brown, 2013.

Tennyson, Alfred Tennyson, and W. E. Williams. Tennyson: Poems. Penguin, 1985.

[official-weasley]

The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley: Pt. 1, Ch. 5

PART 1: WHERE IT ALL BEGAN Chapter 5 - Saving a Weasley

Nova

I felt so bad for Penny having to stay behind and clean the slugs that were without a doubt brought to the classroom by Tonks when she went to the bathroom and were the jelly things hitting the floor.

I wanted to find Tulip and Tonks as soon as possible as I couldn't help but be a bit angry with them, my head still hurting.

I was almost at the Great Hall when I heard someone calling me.

“Nova, over here!” I turned around and saw Tonks and Tulip waving at me.

“Where's Penny?” Asked Tulip, oblivious.

“She got detention because of your slugs!” I said, trying to control my voice. Tonks had to bit her lip no to burst out laughing as I continued.

“I stood up and stepped on one of them and fell flat on my back. Snape, of course, noticed at once and since the slugs made their way under our table and Penny and I were the only ones left in the classroom, he blamed her, took 20 points from Hufflepuff, and made her clean the mess all by herself! I tried defending her but Snape threatened me with detention as well so Penny nudged me to leave.” Seeing that I was angry, massaging the bump on my head, Tulip and Tonks' faces changed.

“Blimey Nova, I'm sorry.” Tonks said sincerely. “Are you going to be okay or should we go to the Hospital Wing just in case?” She added.

“I'll be fine. And it should be Penny you should apologize to because I don't want to know how mad she is at you! Not only is Potions her favorite subject and she asked you not to pull any pranks on the first day, but you also got her in detention on the first day of school!”

“Tonks, I think Nova is right. Why don't we go back to the Dungeons and tell Snape the truth.” I could see Tulip felt really bad, just for thinking slugs in the Potions classroom were funny.

“Alright, alright. You girls will make me a better person if this continues!” She groaned but Tulip and I knew she liked that we made her responsible for her actions.

“Are you coming with, Nova?” Tulip asked me as I was about to head in the other direction.

“Are you kidding? I don't want to be anywhere near Snape until our next lesson on Thursday!” I exclaimed. “I think I am going to the Courtyard to draw. Meet you at dinner?”

“See you later!” They both said and ran towards the Dungeons.

It was weird going somewhere alone. I know I have only been at Hogwarts for 3 days but I always had at least one of the girls with me. I was debating between the Owlery or the Courtyard to relax and draw. I decided to go to the Owlery to check if Pip was sleeping.

It didn't surprise me that the second I stepped in, he was already on my shoulder, hooting happily and nibbling my ear, probably to thank me for the visit.

“What do you say we go to the Courtyard and I draw you, you beautiful bird?” Pip hooted ever so loudly, moved from my shoulder to my arm and we made our way down the stairs.

I was happy it wasn't as full with students as I thought it would be since there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

I sat down on one of the stone benches, putting Pip and my bag down and taking out my drawing book.

“Oh, how I've missed you!” I whispered to the notebook and hugged it slightly. I haven't drawn for about 4 days and I was angry at myself for it.

I sat on the grass next to the bench rather than on it because it was easier for me to use the bench for a table and Pip positioned himself so well as if he was posing.

“Good boy, Pip! Now stay still so that I can at least make a good sketch.” Pip hooted at me and returned to his posing. I chuckled as I took out my brand new pencils, bought by my dad as a 'you're going to Hogwarts and I am proud of you' gift.

It felt like ages to complete the sketch as Pip constantly wanted to peek and see if his portrait was done yet. “I told you to stand still. The more you act like a statue the quicker I can draw you.” I explained to which he replied with a single 'hoot'.

As I started to draw details on the feathers, I heard a rather mean laugh a little away to my left. At first, I didn't put any attention to it.

“Oh, look at that. What a loser!” I couldn't help to overhear a girl say. I tried to mind my own business and went back to drawing.

“What are you doing? Are you reading?” The girl continued, in a baby type of tone.

“And look how old his book is, it's going to fall apart any second now, ha!” A boy spoke this time.

“What's the matter, Weasley? Can't afford a new book and you have to reread an old one?” As the third voice spoke I turned around to see what was going on. I saw 3 Slytherin students that looked at least 2 years older than me standing in front of a boy with a frightened look on his face, clutching the book that I assumed they were mocking him for.

The one on the left was probably shorter than me. She had long black hair, made into a braid on each side. She had an upward crooked nose so that I could see her non-existent brain. The one on the other side was the only boy in the group. He looked fairly normal except for the fact that he was so large that if someone pushed him right at that moment, he would've rolled straight out of the Courtyard. The one in the middle, for which I assumed was the one who started to mock the boy was tall, slim, with thin rat-colored hair that was so greasy that if the wind blew, it wouldn't even move. She had pimples all over her face; one so big that it could easily be mistaken for a boil.

Then I looked harder at the boy. He was the freckled Gryffindor that's in my year! He looked so uncomfortable, looking around to see how he could escape the trio that now surrounded him. He kept pressing his book to his stomach and I could see he would do anything so that they wouldn't take it.

“What, not going to say anything?” The fat boy asked.

“Your parents aren't able to buy you a new one? Are they too poor, Weasley?” Mocked the greasy-haired girl.

“Leave him alone!” Before I realized that the voice came from my mouth I was already on my way towards them. Raising my hand at Pip to make him stay on the bench.

“A First Year defending a First Year. See this Shmeasley, this is your protection!” The greaseball said as all three of them burst out laughing, holding their stomachs.

“That's right, I am a First Year!” I almost shouted at them now, coming even closer. I put my hand in my pocket, trying to grab my wand as I saw their faces get even angrier for disturbing their bullying but I reached for an empty pocket as I put the wand in my bag that stayed with Pip. But that didn't stop me from talking more. “Maybe you should pick on someone your own size, or better yet, your own age!” They laughed at me even more now.

“What are you five? You're sure acting like it.” I continued. Apparently, this was the last straw, as their faces frowned so much from anger that I thought one of the pimples from the girl in the middle was going to burst straight in my face.

“Zip it Ravenclaw! What are you going to do to us? We are smarter than you AND you are outnumbered!” Yelled the boy now as they simultaneously pulled out their wands.

“Flipendo!” Yelled one of the girls. I couldn't see as I closed my eyes but nothing happened. I opened them slowly and all I could see was an emerald cloak in front of me. It was Professor McGonagall and she had to block the spell from hitting me. I stepped on her left side, still hiding a little behind her cloak.

The freckled boy was now staring at her with an opened mouth.

“Miss Bellgrim, Miss Tailbottom, and Mister Morgan, what do you think you are doing!?” She yelled at them, her eyes filled with such fury that I thought I could see little lightning bolts shoot from them. Both the Gryffindor boy and I chuckled when Professor McGonagall said 'Tailbottom'. “Attacking a First Year without their wand! Explain yourself!” She shouted further.

“I...we...well.” The pimpled girl wasn't so loud now.

“I thought you had no explanation for such act of foolishness. 30 points will be taken from Slytherin and I will make sure your Head of House picks good and long detentions for you!” Said Professor McGonagall.

“30 points?” Exasperated the boy, the Professor called Mister Morgan.

“Each!” Professor said, moving her hand to indicate that they should get out of her sight. The trio nodded and hurried from the Courtyard. She then turned to me.

“Are you okay, Miss Blackwood? Why were they trying to duel you?” She asked, concerned.

“They were being rude to him,” I said and nudged my head to the freckled boy, “and I wanted to help. They were really mean to him, Professor.” Her expression softened.

“You stood up to three Four Years to help a fellow First Year?” She asked gently. “The Sorting Hat was right thinking to put you in Gryffindor, you are as brave as you are foolish, Miss Blackwood.” She added.

“If I haven't blocked that spell in time you would've been in the Hospital Wing right about now.” She continued, worry in her voice.

“50 points to Ravenclaw for such braveness and the will to help a fellow student. She then turned to the redhead boy. “Are you alright, Mr. Weasley?” The boy just nodded. She examined us both from head to toe. “Please be careful, Miss Blackwood, Mr. Weasely. And if this happens again, come straight to me. That means you too.” She looked at me again and walked away.

The boy with red hair finally closed his mouth as he realized it was all over. He looked at me, still sitting on the ground, holding his book. “Thank you so much for that. I thought they were going to take my book this time.” He said sadly.

“This time? This wasn't the first time?” I asked puzzled.

“No,” the boy said, lowering his head, “it happened on the train too. I was alone in a compartment, you know reading about Dragons,” he said casually as all anybody ever really does is read about Dragons, “and they came in and started picking on me. Thank Merlin that my brother Bill came to see me and he shooed them away. He then stayed with me just to be sure that they wouldn't come back.” He said and smiled a bit, reminiscing on the memory.

Pip decided that I have left him alone for far too long and he flew on my shoulder and hooted loudly in my ear.

“Is he yours?” The boy asked excitedly.

“Yes, would you like him on your arm?” I asked and sat next to him. I then nudged Pip from my shoulder and tapped on the boy's arm to indicate that he should sit there.

“Wow, she is beautiful. We have a family owl, Errol, but she is more clumsy than my younger brother Ron.” He said as he stared at Pip with amazement.

“It's a he actually and his name is Pip.” I smiled.

“Such a cool name!” He finally looked at me. “I'm Charlie by the way. And in case you haven't heard those Slytherins shout my last name before, it's Weasley. Charlie Weasley.” He extended his hand to me with a look of embarrassment on his face due to what happened earlier.

“I'm Nova Blackwood.” I shook his hand. Pip suddenly flew from Charlie's arm, back to the bench where all my stuff was still laying around. He flew back with everything in my bag and dropped it right in front of us. My drawing notebook flew out of the bag as it hit the floor and opened several pages in, revealing a drawing inspired by my Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Thembook.

“Woah, that's the Common Welsh Green!” Charlie said in awe. “Did you draw this?”

“Yes.” I said proudly.

“Wow, you are really talented. Would you mind?” He asked, shaking my book, indicating if he could go through my drawings. I nodded.

I loved how careful he was while turning the pages. Sometimes he murmured something to himself. He gasped and let out a little squeak every time there was a drawing of a Dragon.

When he was done, he gently closed the notebook, turned to me and gave it back. “Thank you for this. You standing up to those bullies and letting me see all these beautiful creatures you've drawn is the best thing that happened to me so far at school.”

“But the year has just begun.” I said, smiling.

“Unless I see a real Dragon at Hogwarts, nothing can top this.” He smiled back. “Want to see my book?” He offered. “It's about Dragons but it's very old.” Of course, it's about Dragons, I thought.

“I don't mind. The older the book the better the smell and more valuable it is.” I said genuinely.

“I forgot you're a Ravenclaw.” He chuckled and opened the book.

He showed me so many different Dragon species that I haven't even heard of. The illustrations in the book were so beautiful that I couldn't stop admiring them. I don't know what holes those Slytherins had in their brains but to me, this was the best book I have ever come upon.

He then told me that his dream is to work with Dragons and that, even though very ambitious, would like to get a job in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary. He told me that he has 6 siblings, about which I gasped and said that he is the second child in the family.

“My favorite Dragon is the Hebridean Black. What's yours?” He said, excited. “Oh, don't answer that, I can't expect everyone has a favorite Dragon like me.” He lowered his head.

“Chinese Fireball.” I said before he could say another word. “Has been since I first saw it in the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. My dad bought me the book. He was hoping it would shut me up about wanting to own a Chimera and a Fire Salamander.” I chuckled.

“You wanted to have a Chimera?” He laughed but I could see he was imagining having one too.

Before we could go back to his book, a voice called for Charlie.

“Charlie?! Charl... there you are! I was worried sick. Why aren't you at dinner? You know that I promised mum I would look after you!” The boy with longish red hair said after finding us, still in the same spot as before. From what Charlie told me, I assumed that was his older brother Bill, who was currently in his Third Year.

“I'm sorry, Bill!” Apologized Charlie. “I was showing Nova my book after she saved me from those Slytherins again.” Charlie said thankfully.

“Those Slyth...again? Charlie, we have to tell Professor McGonagall now!” Bill was furious.

“Oh, I don't think that will be necessary.” Grinned Charlie as he told his brother how I intervened, how McGonagall saved me from the Knockback Jinx, and how they lost the Slytherins House 90 points and I gained Ravenclaw 50.

“What is your name?” He looked at me astonished that I stood up to 3 Slytherins much older than me just to help his brother.

“My name is Nova Blackwood.” I said as I shook his hand.

“Thank you Nova for saving my brother. I don't even want to imagine what they could do to him if you weren't around.” He said with a worried face.

“Bill!” Said Charlie, obviously embarrassed as the pink hue between his freckles started to show. “You are starting to sound like mum.” He mocked him to take attention off himself.

“You know what mum would have done to me if something ought to happen to you. I would receive a Howler and then the whole school would know I'm a bad brother.” Bill defended himself.

“Get off it Bill, you're the best brother!” Charlie said and smiled at him. Bill smiled back and ruffled Charlie's hair.

“Now, as much as I like that you are making friends Charlie, I would like for you two to go to the Great Hall and get some dinner before it's too late.” Bill said, helping us get up.

I turned to Pip and told him to go get some rest in the Owlery. Bill accompanied me and Charlie to the Great Hall. There he thanked me again for helping his little brother. “See you around, Nova. Was nice to meet you!” He ruffled Charlie's hair again and went towards the Gryffindor Tower.

Charlie and I entered the Great Hall together, which by now was half empty since dinner time was almost over. Charlie was called over to the Gryffindor Table by that boy who could barely see through his thick black hair. He turned to me.

“Nova, thank you again. I had so much fun with you!” He said and to my surprise gave me a hug. “We'll see each other around, we have a lot of classes together, we can hang out then.” He said, rather excited and hurried to the Gryffindor Table.

I looked around and saw a blond, pink, and redhead at the Ravenclaw Table. I hurried to the girls and sat down.

“Blimey Nova, where have you been?” Tonks said.

“We got worried that you had to go to the Hospital Wing because of your fall.” Added Penny.

“I almost ended up at the Hospital Wing, but not because of the fall.” I said and they gasped.

I then told them all about how those Slytherins attacked Charlie and how I forgot my wand in my bag, to which Tulip commented that it can happen to anyone. I told them how McGonagal protected me from the Knockback Jinx to which they stared at me with opened mouths. I then told them all about Charlie and how he is as excited about Care of Magical Creatures as I am. Tonks murmured something about how we are all too excited for school and we laughed at her comment.

When I finished my story Penny told me that Tonks and Tulip apologized to her and that they wanted to take full responsibility for what happened in Potions class but Snape wouldn't let them. To my surprise, Tulip said that Penny thanked them both as her detention with Snape enabled her to show him her knowledge of potions and that he gave Hufflepuff 5 points for knowing all the potions she had to sort.

Of course, she is confident that she will never receive such detention again as Snape soon realized that it wasn't a punishment for her at all.

While lying in bed that night, I couldn't believe the day I had. The year has hardly started and I was having so much fun. I would even dare to say that I have made a new friend and I couldn't believe how much we had in common. Nobody I knew loved animals as much as I did, not even my aunt who was breeding Abraxans. Nobody, until I've met Charlie.

[arinlangdon]

reactions again. i have a lot to say and there’s nowhere better to dump it all than my online blog which i treat as a stream-of-consciousness public diary/liveblog of my love affair with this fictional character.

episode 7

ah yes, the memory headaches are back, sooner than ever. i hope this means FMC will be regaining her memories sooner in this route too. i think it would be more interesting to see her navigate a route while remembering everything about her life from before, for multiple reasons. after all, every route ended with that, so far, and we didn’t explore much about what that means. the route that centers on 2/3 of the triad seems like the perfect opportunity to do so.

so Arin used to have panic attacks, confirmed? precious anxiety baby

love the Humpty Dumpty bit

i love how they reference giving her the moon again. “I gave it to you, and it’ll ground you” and it’s a secret between her and them how they did it. augh, too romantic. (also, blush count for this set: 1)

“Yikes, do you even sleep?” i ask myself this every day, Jackie. does Arin ever use that plush-looking bed? a mystery for the ages. she’s right though, Arin is far too busy for their own good. they know everything except for the meaning of the word “relaxation”

i see we’re speaking in code now. i love Ever After Academy, the series where frogs are really head librarians and rabbits are actually cat-dog-rabbit-dragon-things, and men named Wolf aren’t actually werewolves

“Arin constantly skips meals due to being too busy” headcanon regretfully confirmed. Arin nO

“FMC is always trying weird new flavors of desserts” headcanon also confirmed lol. this girl, always so adventurous. but also, “better than getting the same thing every time”? it’s true, novelty is necessary. a woman after my own heart.

oh yes, now i can check “heart scene where you help Arin relax and have fun” off my wish list. right above that is “pluck the coffee right out of their hands, march them straight to bed and tuck them in, and maybe cuddle a bit”, and right below it is “plan a special date where you block off a full 24 hours of free time for Arin so you can spend the whole day together”. (Voltage, i have great ideas, hire me now)

Arin blush count: 2. oh look at these two shy idiots who can only dance around their feelings. surely they have to have some clue that their feelings are mutual? they keep trying to stop themselves from kissing the other. it’s driving me nuts. these fools! i push them together like a child pretending to make their dolls kiss.

episode 8

i’m sure they wrote in the explanation for the terrarium as it’s a holdover from Ezra’s route, but i think it’s funny to think that the siblings kept the terrarium all these years and Arin never knew about it. Arin ur not the only one with secrets

again, i do like how Arin keeps referencing the moon. moon rabbit. moon rabbit!!

oh here comes the angst from Arin keeping secrets from FMC for good reasons but not even being able to tell her the reasons. we all saw this coming from a mile away, but it still hurts. :(

wow i cannot wait to find out all of Arin’s secrets :D including their personal ones. (does that make me sound creepy? oops)

more dragon lore, and a debate between Nora and Lucas about dragons? yes please.

as an aside: i can’t believe it’s taken me this long to mention it, but i’m peeved at how the writing in this route keeps referring to Arin as “themselves” when they’re singular. “themself” may not be a familiar word, but it feels the most correct when referring to an individual. “herselves” and “himselves” isn’t a thing.

“Arin is a terrible singer” headcanon confirmed. Arin has a lovely voice but is a rubbish singer, i love it. keep the doors coming, Charlie, i’m on a roll today.

oh god, more embarrassing Arin stories, i am living for this. Arin blush count: 3, maybe 4. what exactly did they wind up on top of, FMC? do tell.

i cannot believe Arin has early 2000s boy band music on their phone. is this the real life? lmao this is probably the most surprising fact i’ve learned about them in this entire set, if not the whole route so far. Arin’s dignity: dropping like a stone. this is hilarious, i love it. god. seriously though, which song was it—

episode 9

can’t help but try to read ulterior motives into Jackie’s every move, and failing because we don’t know enough yet. trying to book a tutoring session with Arin, peeping into FMC’s house’s window, tipping off FMC about Darla’s scheming, being overly invested in the fairytale friends’ well-being? she’s the prime suspect for being the Big Bad of this route, and possibly the Queen of Hearts from the Alice duology, yet she hasn’t done anything outright villainous yet. she’s actually been fairly friendly and helpful. Jackie, what is your deal

Arin blush count: 5. wow careful Arin, your face will get stuck like that and you’ll pass out from lack of blood flow to the rest of your body

it’s still hard getting used to the knowledge that Arin is and was FMC’s best friend. it boggles my mind.

but also i want to imagine them as kiddos hanging out in her room and having fun. adorable. teen flashbacks when :’(

“you’re special to me” wow surefire arrow to my heart oof. Arin blush count: 6.

oh no, again with the holding back, you clods. you lovestruck idiots. you silly dumdums. being a 20-something and having feelings for your best friend is hard. it’s hard and nobody understands. :( when are they going to talk about this? when are they going to come out and say something?? normally FMC is much more straightforward than this, but i guess when it comes to a friendship you’ve cultivated for years, even the bravest people hesitate to rock the boat. but it’ll be all the more satisfying when they actually reach that point.

watching Arin put up the walls again, i can just hear them thinking “conceal, don’t feel”. “remove all magic, but leave the fun” ahahaha alright that’s enough

it’s nice to see FMC seeking out the company and advice of the fairytale trio in this route, especially Nora. those girls, always so close. she really is the only female friend FMC has, until Darla becomes her friend.

so much for hiding magic from MMC! cat’s out the bag sooner than i thought, and Arin’s not going to be happy about it. now they’re going to be pulling double duty trying to keep both siblings from a-sploding their heads by accident. poor Arin

did FMC explain the plan for making things right (whatever “things” are) and restoring their memories? or did she just leave them to wait it out indefinitely? oh no

[rosesvioletshardy]

life as we know it - b.h. chapter 8

a/n: i’m posting today because i needed some sort of mental break form everything happening. i was about to go to a blm protest yesterday in my city until i heard what was happening and before it escalated too far and people were running for safety. i’ve been signing petitions and donating as much as i could non-stop and it really got to me. really hope you guys like this chapter

black lives matter

masterlist

summary: when their two best friends die, it’s up to ben and y/n to take care of their goddaughter and face the challenges that come with it

# of words: 3,557

warnings: reader being a dick at one point, FLUFF, panic attack

not edited so i apologize for any mistakes

taglist: @myfatbottomedgirls, @evemarie05, @suckerfor-fanfics

--

(my gif below, please credit if using)

july

a couple of months have passed and  ben and y/n have managed to do everything their way and the way christian and lennon would’ve wanted them to. they had both seen therapists to truly get in touch with the situation and there was no more freaking out and ever since the fiasco about them “dating” and charlie being *their* daughter. sean on the other hand needed his plan to go quick before she understood her real feelings and how she truly felt and broke up with him. a lot of people didn’t believe that what they were saying was true and would rather believe a gossip site rather than the true source itself because they’d think it would be a good way to promote more self image and business. 

when it came out, sean was furious. she knew it would happen and tried to call him to explain the situation that they weren’t together and charlie wasn’t their daughter but he knew that. he wanted her to feel guilty  

flashback

“did you see the news?” he asked 

“yeah listen, ben already talked to his publicist about it and the daily mail is going to post another article about it’s not true, he’s not my boyfriend and charlie is our biological daughter.”

“he better. i swear to god he ruins everything.” he told her gritting his teeth, and grabbing her wrists and throwing them away 

“no he doesn’t.”

“yes he does, but i need to keep making sure he doesn’t touch you in any way possible okay? you’re mine only.”

“i’m yours only.” she told him tears creeping up in her eyes

flashback over

there were some ups and downs like recently charlie decided she needed to go number 2 while they were giving her a bath that turned into a doctor’s visit the next day

“she still has soap on her head.” she told ben 

“yeah i can see” he said as he moved the shower head and covered charlie’s eyes as she played with the rubber duck

before ben could cover her eyes, she saw charlie do her poop face

“she’s making her poop face” y/n voiced

“What?”

“her poop face! that’s the face she makes when she needs to go. she’s going to poop in the tub” she yelled picking charlie up to take her to the toilet

ben started to freak out as he moved out of the way to take the lock off of the toilet that was installed

“hurry up! she’s going to do it any minute!” “‘m trying! i don’t remember how i opened these!” ben panicked

“she’s going to poop on me. here let me try” she panicked giving charlie to ben

y/n then began to struggle like ben did and kept trying to pull the latch before doing the unthinkable and taking ben’s beanie and holding it under the baby

“no, no, no MY HAT! oh my god that’s my hat” 

“i’m so sorry. i’ll buy you a new one. i promise.” she giggled

“oh it’s funny. yeah, laugh it off. that’s real funny” ben said starting to laugh along

“wait what is that?”

“what?” 

“that lump on her stomach”

“‘t’s her belly button. she’s an outie.” ben told her

“No, that was not there yesterday when i changed her.” she told him

“okay. we’ll make a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. let’s just get her cleaned up and ready for bed.”

that was all on her mind throughout the night and before the appointment. she had taken charlie on her break so ben can have some alone time for a while seeing that he’s been busy and wants one day without hearing the wiggles music all day.

here she was, holding charlie and pacing back and forth talking to tyler about an event

“we can’t afford to be snobby. it’s our biggest event. just bring out all the most popular foods, you know? anything that’s sweet and could be counted as finger-food.” she told him before the doctor came in

“sorry to keep you waiting. my mother wouldn’t hang up.” the doctor said

“that’s fine. i know the feeling sometimes”

“so you are charlie’s new guardian, is that correct?” dr. smith asked looking at charlie’s chart

“yes that is correct.”

“i’m really sorry about what happened to her parents and your friends” he said as he gestured for her to sit charlie on the table

“thank you.”

“okay. now, how is she doing? is she sleeping okay? regular bowel movements”

“well not at first but now it’s very regular. but she has this protrusion on her stomach and i don’t know what it is. i don’t know anything about kids. lennon was the first one of my friends to have a baby and she was amazing with charlie. she would be the first person i would call about this. i-i mean, she was the first person i called about everything. and it hurts that i can’t call her and i’d really like to tell her “oh my god what the hell were you thinking? I mean you could’ve left me with your pearls or the YSL clutch. this is just a little too much and hard. i don’t even know what i’m doing even with the help.” oh god i’m ranting. i’m so sorry.” y/n said taking a deep breath

“it’s fine. a lot of parents do that, especially first time parents. so, charlie’s got an umbilical hernia. it’s nothing to be worried about, they mostly go away on their own, but we’ll keep watching it.” dr. smith told her taking out his prescription pad and began to write

“wait, you said it goes away on its own.”

“this is for you.” he finished writing down and giving it to her

she took the paper and began to read it out loud

“one bottle of pinot noir, one to two glasses as needed.”

“or white, same dosage though. look, you and whoever is with you are doing is pretty incredible. but don’t forget to give yourselves a break every now and then. Okay? So i’ll have the nurse set you up in a week? bye charlie, you’re going to be okay. it was nice to meet you.” dr. smith told her shaking her hand

“you too, and thank you.”

y/n left the building with charlie in her stroller and they began their journey back home. on the way, they ended up seeing sean but he wasn’t alone. at first she thought “maybe it’s just a co-worker of his out for lunch or maybe just an old friend.” but then she saw what she thought was the worst thing ever. he was cheating on her. she didn’t know what to feel other than betrayed and she hadn’t felt like this in a way since she found out about the death. wiping the lone tear away, she walked away and straight home and wondered how long it had been going on or if ben knew.

when she got home, she was met with what seemed like drumming. taking charlie out of her stroller and down for a nap, she walked into the family room to find ben sitting at a drum set and looking at music sheets. 

“what the fuck benjamin. what is this?!” y/n exclaimed

“well, as you can see, it is a drum set. they are usually used by drummers for band and are set up in the ba-” ben tried to explain in a sarcastic tone before getting cut off

“i know what a drum is. i mean what is it doing in the room? why do you even have it?” 

“this new role i got involves drumming and i said i could play so here we are now.” 

“but you can’t play.”

“exactly that’s why i’m practicing. why does it look like you were crying?” he asked curiously after seeing her puffy eyes

“um no reason. what is the role that you need to learn drumming so badly?” 

“okay. do you promise not to tell anyone?”

“yeah i promise”

“this is really private and it hasn’t been announced yet so do you really prom-” “yes, ben i fucking promise. Jesus”

“fine. geez. i’m going to be playing roger taylor in the queen biopic” ben told her really excited

this caused her to laugh and she couldn’t understand why. she didn’t mean to be rude it just sort of happened.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to laugh. i just couldn’t get the thought of you playing one of my childhood crushes. oh my. how long have you managed to keep this from me?” 

“can you please leave me alone now? i don’t have that much time to learn a shit ton of songs. and i went to the meeting about it a couple of  months ago, remember when i left in the middle of dinner? then i started lessons after i got the part and somehow managed to pull off one song so far.” ben told her fixing one of the cymbals

that’s why ben was constantly gone for a while and they had to ask charlie’s babysitter because she couldn’t take care of charlie and go to work at the same time

“now can i leave for practice? i can’t believe i’m telling you this, but we shoot the live aid scene soon and joe, rami, and gwilym are still trying to get to know one another?” ben asked

“yeah, sure.” she said before continuing

“why don’t you invite them over? i can make dinner for all of you.” 

“are you sure about that? wouldn’t it be too much?” 

“no, it’s completely fine. have you forgotten how many places i’ve catered? or how many people i serve for a day when i work? it’s practically my specialty.” 

“fine. but you better not tell anything embarrassing that’s happened to us so far.” ben warned

“ooo i’m so scared” y/n exclaimed in a teasing way

“watch it.” ben warned pointing at her with a drumstick

“fine.”

after their exchange, y/n began to look around the kit as ben got ready to leave. walking into the kitchen she began dinner for later in the night and made something that ben could easily heat up later.

“alright, i’m leaving. bye charlie girl.” ben said giving charlie a kiss on her head as she continued to sleep

hours passed and it was now around 8 in the evening and y/n took the doctor's advice and decided to drink some pinot noir. for some reason she managed to handle her alcohol this time and not send anything risky. ben walked in the house to find her giggling as she had managed to drink a little more than usual.

“BEN! oh my god. thank god you’re here. have i told you how much of a great dad you’ll be? i mean i really hate you but you’re like a great dad or “dad” with charlie i guess but still. i’m literally going to be so jealous of whoever gets to have your kids. oh my god i feel so good! but there is one thing i’ve realized the whole time she has been asleep and it’s that i’m never going to take a great bath in this house. this is a shower house. why does it always look like you never brush your hair? that must save a lot of time.” she told him

“how’s that wine treating you? you not going to send anyone anything?”

“no. my phone is in the kitchen so i wouldn’t touch it while i drink. oh. did you want some? because i can definitely share.”  

“nah i’m good.”

“maybe it’s because you don’t worry as much. that’s what lennon told me when they set us up. she said “honey, you just got your ass dumped by your boyfriend of two years and cheated on you, you need a good time.” then you showed up! your charming self shows up at my door and it’s a total asshole at the door. and now i’m about to raise a kid with said asshole.” 

ben didn’t know what to feel but hurt. he really thought that she would come around but clearly she didn’t

“oh god i’m going to regret this huh? i shouldn’t have poured my feelings out to that doctor and just listened to the therapist instead.” she said putting the glass down

“come on. off to bed, i think you’ve had enough.”

“i’ve had so many things thought of that i wanted to say but i can’t remember them” 

“‘kay so you’re a horny drunk and a belligerent drunk? That’ll be a fun next 18 years:” ben told her as they started to walk up the stairs

“i’m a fun drunk too. it just depends on what i drink.” she said as they heard the doorbell ring

ben went to the door to see who it was thinking it was one of their neighbors asking for something but it wasn’t

“Hi”

“hi. i’m janine williams. your caseworker from social services?” the woman said shaking ben's hand as y/n creeped up behind him

“you were told that we’d be making a few unannounced visits.”

“yeah. this is definitely unannounced. just give me one minute.” ben told her closing the door

“social services are at the door. so go and wash your face and get your head out of your ass and hope that you’re as good at acting like you are baking. you got like 5 minutes to sober up.” ben whisper yelled at her pointing towards the stairs

“please come in. i’ll show you around” ben said as he opened the door

she tried her best to sober up as much as she could while ben showed janine around the house and making sure that they could do what they needed to do

“are you sure you don’t want to see it again?” 

“nope, twice is usually my limit.” 

“i’m so sorry. i was finishing up cleaning the dishes. i didn’t have time to do them in the morning so with charlie down i got to do them” she said as they saw a few dishes in the sink

“okay. um let’s get started then”

y/n and ben sat next to each other while janine sat opposite of them

“let’s just talk. just get the sense of the both of you, your plans. where do you see yourselves in, say, five years?”

“OH I KNOW!” y/n practically yelled as ben tried to calm her down

“i own a small bakery, hopefully a full restaurant. anyways i hope to own my own frozen food, organic of course. but charlie, i didn’t include her but she is a part of my plan.”

“that’s fine. Thank you. ben? where do you see yourself in five years?” 

“wow, well hopefully i’ll still be acting. um like she said Charlie is a part of my plan to. i want to show her what i do-” ben started before getting cut off

“that’s what i wanted to talk to you about. the acting. i know actors manage to pull it off all the time but can you do it? can you still make sure that charlie will be provided and seen if y/n is needed for something?”

“yes. of course. with my new film i’ll be shooting here in london and around but i won’t be too far away from them.” ben told her

this was a surprise to her but it shouldn’t have been because of what it was about 

“there’s also another thing i’m concerned about. the dog-”

“yes. frankie. don’t worry, she is completely trained and would never harm charlie and pretty much has been like a protector to her. she knows when to listen and what to do.”

“okay, good. one last thing is the relationship between you two. i did read the daily mail and what they have said and didn’t believe them because who would. but i want to make sure that nothing in this relationship could cause any problems for charlie, especially when she gets older.”

“i’m actually in a relationship right now. and let me tell, it’s not so hot right now but he doesn’t know that. i can promise you that the problems between ben and i can be completely totally worked out.” y/n giggled out 

“exactly. if we have any problems i’m sure we would be able to work them out no matter what the situation is in a nice calm matter for charlie.”

“Good, well not with your relationship, hope everything's alright but with you two living together, the only thing we are concerned with is charlie losing more people she’s close too. well i think that’s it. just know we’ll be making a couple more not to many visits by the end of the year and if there’s any problems, just call us.” janine told them standing up shaking their hands 

when ben closed the door, he began to wonder what she was talking about and thought about whether it was a good time to tell her about what he heard sean say at the funeral 2 months before. 

“there’s something i need to tell you. you probably won’t remember because i can tell you’re still a little tipsy but it’s about sean” he started 

“a couple of months ago during the funeral reception, i overheard sean say something. he’s cheating on you and he wants to marry you because he thinks he’ll be able to get your company and expand it to become more rich.” 

“i know he’s cheating on me. i saw him earlier today that’s why it looked like i was crying.” y/n explained as she put her head on the couch pillow 

“we’ve had a rocky relationship from the start but i was too blind and naive to notice.” 

“so are you going to break up with him?”

“no.”

“no? why? he broke your heart, he’s controlling-”

“you think i don’t know that? every guy i have been with has been like that”

“what about me? we didn’t date but you don’t think i’m like that”

“no i don’t but you deserve someone who’s better.” she told him before continuing 

“i’m going to sleep. g’night ben”

“wait.”

ben did the unthinkable and grabbed her hand, turned her around and kissed her. it was too much to process but she kissed him back and put her hand up to his face 

“please break up with him.” ben whispered to her when they pulled away as their forehead touched

“i’ll try. i promise” she whispered back

the both laid in their beds that night and replayed the kiss in their head over and over again. y/n did have a plan to break up with sean. she didn’t know if it would work seeing that there were possibilities of what could happen. ben couldn’t stop smiling and felt like a teenage girl who just had her first kiss by the boy she liked. he never would’ve thought that the woman he took a booty call in front of a year ago would end up living with him and raising a child with him. 

throughout the night, she kept tossing and turning. not being able to sleep, she went downstairs to find ben peacefully asleep on the couch. she always felt guilty that he had to sleep there but he was too stubborn to let her sleep on the couch while he had the bed. ben woke up from noise being made in the kitchen and quickly retreated only to find her drinking some water. putting his slipper down, he walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder, shocking her

“oh shit you scared me” she said putting the glass down and her other hand over her heart

“yeah sorry. i was just wondering why you were up”

“uh i couldn’t sleep. too much going on. what are you doing up?”

“i heard something, thought it was a burglar”

“and you decided to defend yourself with a shoe?”

“hey shoes can be weapons”

“okay, well i guess we should go back to sleep. i’d also like to apologize for earlier. i know i was drunk but it still doesn’t excuse me and my actions for what i said.”

“it’s fine, i felt the same way in a way i guess at first but i guess i’m over it and yeah we should.” he said as they both awkwardly stood there

as they started to go their separate ways, y/n stopped in her tracks and decided to ask ben something she wouldn’t never thought of 

“hey ben?” 

“yeah?”

“cou-could you stay with me? i don’t know if i’ll be able to sleep, if you don’t that’s okay.” she started to stutter out as her face turned red

“no, no it’s fine. and i’ll stay with you” he told her as he walked over to her and taking her hand

they stepped inside the room and got into the bed. at first they were facing away from each other before they turned around to each other. ben grabbed her waist and pulled her into him. she felt his chest rise and slowly falling back, taking in his scent which consisted of his cologne and cigarettes mixed together. y/n soon felt her eyes close as she felt safe in his arms.

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

What to Binge Watch While in Quarantine

Do you feel yourself running out of things to watch on DVR or you don’t know which streaming platform to explore for your next watch? Or do you just find yourself with more time on your hands and don’t know what to do? If you answered yes to any of these questions I hope this thread helps you out. A lot of these picks are some of my top choices no matter what the case (which means I might have spoken about them before-possibly A LOT. Or they may be upcoming March picks, which just shows how great they really are). So without further a do here are some things you should consider bingeing as you maintain your social distancing and seek a form of escape...

Need a laugh?

Check out DERRY GIRLS

This half hour comedy (which honestly should be longer because the episodes go by too fast and there are not enough of them in the seasons) follows Erin Quinn as she navigates high school during the 1990s in Northern Ireland. She attends an all girl Catholic school along with her cousin Orla, and friends Michelle, Clare and James. (That’s right James also attends the all girls school. He’s a Brit and it would be too dangerous for him to attend the boys school during this time of civil unrest.) As the girls experience trivial problems like how to get to a concert or how to avoid people eating pot brownies at a funeral, the historic problems play out in the background. During the pandemic we’re experiencing we can take away living in the moment like these girls from Derry and not overly stressing on big world problems.   

Streaming on Netflix

Wanting more of a ROM COM kind of escapism?

Then look no further than the Netflix original Set it Up. 

Two assistants, Harper and Charlie, work in the same building and are experiencing a very “Devil wears Prada” relationship with each of their bosses. They meet one night at work after hours and believe they have the worse boss. A plan gets set in motion to set up their terrible bosses with each other. Then when they’re happy, the two assistants can have their lives back. You already see where this is probably going and who this love story is actually following: Harper and Charlie. I’ve been raving about this movie since 2018 when it first came out and it is still just as great as the first time I watched it. It honestly still gives hope for a great romantic comedy. 

Streaming on Netflix.  

Up for a good mystery? 

Give Cw’s Nancy Drew a try.

One of the Cw’s latest new shows this season, Nancy Drew, re-invents the classic stories we all know and love with a more darker and supernatural spin. If you like Riverdale and the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina then this might be right up your alley. However, as someone who doesn’t watch Riverdale and didn’t fall in love with Sabrina, I am still a big fan of this new adaptation of Nancy Drew. I feel like I’ve experienced a roller coaster of reviews with this one, from really liking it to not so much (because there was too much of the supernatural involved and I just wanted a good mystery) to now really liking it again. I think I just needed some time to understand the vibe of it all and now that I really know the characters I’m liking it a lot. I’m also excited it has been renewed for a second season. 

You can catch up with all 16 episodes now on the CW app or online cwtv.com. New episodes return in April. 

Want more of a magical kind of mystery?

Then you gotta watch Locke and Key.

Thanks to Netflix’s new trending list I decided to check out Locke and Key and I am so happy I did. It was fantastic and I can’t wait for season two. Based on the graphic novel by the same name, the series follows the Locke siblings who have just witnessed their father’s murder before traveling cross-country with their mother to his ancestral home, Key house. The house is filled with these magical keys that all have different properties from getting into your mind and looking at your deepest thoughts and desires, a key that opens any door and can take you anywhere, or one that opens a music box that lets you control people. The kids get drawn to the keys and unlock a deeper mystery of the keys and how their dad was involved in it all. Plus, there’s a sinister presence that is after the keys and will stop at nothing to get what they want. Definitely worth checking out!

Streaming on Netflix. 

Need some music in your life?

You must watch Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

This show gets better and better each episode. After a freak accident, Zoey gets the ability to hear people’s innermost feelings through song and dance. She’s the only who can hear it, which means she needs to help the person get through the problem in their life. Each episode has a good amount of musical numbers from popular songs to classics and even musicals. Great cast. There is not one character I don’t like. If you are a fan of Glee I would highly suggest checking it out. It’s the show that often gets compared to it, but you don’t have to be a fan of Glee to enjoy it. I wasn’t a die-heart fan and I’m loving Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. It’s a feel good watch that is just what we need at a difficult time like this. 

Watch it on NBC on demand. 

Did you love High School Musical?   

Then why haven’t you watched High School Musical the Musical the Series?

This show has been promoted since Disney Plus was released back in November. There was a lot of hype over it, which made me unsure if it would be worth it, but I gotta say that I really enjoyed it overall. A cross between Glee and the Office, HSMTMTS follows students who attend the school the Disney Original Movie Series was filmed. When the new drama teacher comes to “East High” she is shocked that the drama department has never put on the musical for themselves. There’s a love triangle(s), a large cast of talented singers, drama and mystery. Great new songs that will get stuck in your head and the promise for a second season with a brand new musical to perform. (I’m just bummed it’s Beauty and the Beast and not HSM 2). The episodes are only about 25 minutes and you’ll find yourself finished with the 10 episode season in a matter of hours.

Now streaming on Disney+.  

Feeling a telenovela musical?

Then Violetta is for you!

Drama, laughs, love, and music (with more catchy songs you won’t be able to get out of your head), this Disney original from Buenos Aires has it all. You will get sucked into the episodes just like I did and be shocked how far into the series you are in such a short amount of time. I watched all 80 episodes (that are about 40 minutes a piece) in a matter of 2 months. (And now I’m upset that Disney Plus hasn’t released season 2!!) The show follows Violetta Castillo who has just returned home after traveling the globe with her father for years. She wants to be like a regular kid and attend school rather than having a tutor, but her father forbids it. He’s over protective because her mother was a famous singer who then tragically died. He ties it back to the music and forbids Violetta from performing as well. Throughout the first season, she is exposed to a music school where she makes new friends, enemies, and becomes a part of a love triangle (naturally). In the process she rises to be one of the most talented performers, but constantly is worried her dad will find out the truth and make them move again. 

Streaming now on Disney+. 

Needing a Sci-Fi fix?

Tune into the Cw’s Pandora.

The show aired on the Cw this summer and needs more love and recognition. I was surprised over how much I enjoyed it. When each episode aired I wanted to watch it right away, which then made me upset because I had to wait a week, but you won’t have that problem! The show takes place in the future in the year 2199. Our main character Jax witnesses her family getting tragically killed and is forced back to Earth to live with her uncle who runs a training academy. Jax enrolls in the school and makes several friends a long the way (there are so many ships on this show that I often had trouble deciding who I liked with who). While at the academy she starts to piece together that her family’s death might not have been an accident and that more lies behind it as well as her own past. There were times when I was confused by how much time had passed from the last episode because characters would be very close or references would get made and I’d be like: Did I miss something? But despite all of that I really enjoyed it and am happy there will be a season 2. It feels very Cw in the best way possible, so if you already watch a lot of shows on the network then you should give this one a try. 

Watch the entire first season on the CW app or online @ cwtv.com

Wanting an ironic watch in this difficult time?

Then add Daybreak to your queue.

This Netflix original had been on my list for a while and once the Corona virus was getting more and more serious I felt I needed something to take my mind off of it and also to have a good laugh. Daybreak is doing just that. (I am currently still watching the series so I don’t have a full review just yet.) This show takes place during the aftermath of a nuclear attack. In this apocalypse adults have turned into “zombie-like figures” who are muttering the last thought they had (often a very funny one). The kids are now in charge and each clique in high school has a territory. We follow social-outcast/new kid at school. Josh who is on the search for the love of his life, Sam, that he lost during the night of the explosion. Along the way he finds allies and they form their own tribe. This show is constantly breaking the fourth wall, having characters directly talk and look at us. I thought I would hate it, but I actually really like that feature and am kind of upset now that Josh has not narrated an episode in a while. 

Now streaming on Netflix.    

Still looking for more laughs?

Add Kelsey’s 100 Baby Challenge to your Watch Later

Throughout last year, Buzzfeed multiplayer’s Kelsey Immpicciche took up the 100 baby challenge in the Sims 4. What she thought would be a fun challenge and a couple videos blew up into a full series spanning 50 episodes, multiple spin-off series and even a line of clothing (which I am happy to say I own a sweatshirt). Who would have thought watching someone play the Sims and try to have 100 babies with all different parents would be so much fun? Kelsey has made me want to play the Sims and have my very own 100 baby challenge. This challenge is hilarious and fun. I loved all of Kelsey’s commentary as she plays as well as reading the comment section where everyone tries to give her tips. It’s so exciting to see how so many people got involved in this challenge. I hope she continues for season 2 soon! 

You can watch all of season 1 on YouTube.

Need a change in location?

Venture back in time and to Prince Edward Island with Anne with an E.

L.M. Montgomery’s beloved series is adapted with a fresh new take on her classic characters and setting. Across Anne with an E’s three seasons we watch Anne Shirley come to Green Gables and form a family with Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert. We watch her shake up school and form life long friends. Something that I love about this series is that it is able to incorporate so many of the issues our society is facing today. While not always 100% accurate to the original novels, the show takes liberties with the source material and expands upon it to create something audiences can see as an echo of our conflicts. While this has been a problem for some, I think, once you realize this, you can enjoy the series even more. I know of so many people who have turned to the book after watching and falling in love with this series. Now, during this time, it is the perfect form of escapism. With each season spanning about 10 episodes you will be done and wanting more just like I am. I’m still upset the series has not been renewed. 

Streaming now on Netflix. 

Early Releases:

LITTLE WOMEN is now available on digital copy.

FROZEN 2 has been released early to Disney Plus.

Rumor is that EMMA will be released on digital copy as early as March 20th.

With so much to watch I hope that you can endure this quarantine happily. If there’s a show you’d like to add to the list make sure to attach it below in a comment or by sharing this post!

[ultraklll]

Tony Miller as a Gun For Hire! Tagged by the lovely @envyfelled ! Ty! This was super fun! Also, I'm on mobile, so sorry for the garbo formatting! (Fun fact, tonys voice claim is laura bailey as fiona/fem!boss)

Paired With Fangs For Hire:

Boomer - "Heya buddy!" followed by excessive scratching behind the ears | "Fuckin' love this dog, can sniff out a peggie like shark sniffing out blood. Good trait to have! Awfully convenient too…" | [patpatapatptpataptap] | "Atta fuckin' boy Boomer!" When she sees him get a kill | "Who's a good boy! Who wants to kill some cultists!" | "Wanna play fetch? Rip out their necks?"

Peaches - "Good girl…" | stealth gang stealth gang | peaches: mows down peggies/tony: a baby!" | "I jus' think it's funny that when we went to the Henbane, we picked up a cougar, Addie, an actual cougar, Peaches, and joined a crew called the Cougars… Just'a thought," 

Cheeseburger - "This reminds me'a Vegas pride, saw plenty'a bears there too" | "Kinda ironic to find you in Jacob's region, all things considered," [snickers to herself] | [PATPATPATPATPATPAT] | "Get outta my pockets! These snacks are mine, not yours!" | "You remind me of those like, beware of dog signs, but the dog is always a sweetheart who'd rather play with a home invader rather than attack them," 

Paired With Other Guns For Hire:

Jess - stealth gang stealth gang stealth gang | Jess has a MASSIVE crush on Tony. Everyone can tell. Tony knows | jess: guns are fucking lame and the sniper rifle is the cowards weapon/ tony: uses a sniper rifle/ jess: actually sniper rifles are cool as fuck | "Good shot Jess!" "S-shit, um, thanks, Tony," 

Grace - sniper gang sniper gang!! | [steals a headshot Grace was lining up] "Cmon Gracie, thought you were meant to be Olympic level!" | highly competitive, do a shot whenever they get a perfect headshot to die instantly | smug top solidarity | also heavily depressed solidarity 

Adelaide - [acts like she's not sleeping with her nephew even tho Addie knows she definitely knows] | Tony is either constantly laughing or constantly face palming over the shit addie says | have gotten into an argument once bc addie said john was a top 

Nick - "What's up eye in the sky?" | [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [fli | Nick: speaks/Tony: god I just love the way you fucking talk | often talk about kim together | "Can we have a barbecue at your place once these fuckers are dealt with?" | [pretends not to be bitter the Deputy got to help deliver Carmina and not her]

Sharky - "Heya baby!" | [constant back and forth flirting. It's embarrassing] | any second they're both not talking is a second they're making out | Can and Will go john wick on some peggy ass if he gets hurt badly | "Do you wanna have a sleepover?" "Lemme ask my momma," | she calls him Charlie :> | loves him so so much they're just constantly talking about anything and everything | literally like A Comedic Duo. Have together for certified funnies

Hurk jr. - "Junior! This'll be just like Kyrat!" | competitions about who can shotgun a beer faster every 4 seconds | WILL tell you stories about their time in Kyrat together | Tony has punched Drubman sr in the nose before and she'll do it again | "Hey Tony? You still in contact with Ajay?" "He sends me a royal postcard every now n' then. Apparently it's boring being king, and his only solace is that his new bodyguard is cute," 

In Combat: 

Seeing an enemy - "Fucker in my sights," | "I got a bullet with your name on it… actually I don't, who the fuck has time to carve names in bullets, but you get the idea- im just gonna shoot you now" | "You're dead on arrival, shithead," 

Sneaking - "You'd think me sneaking is counter productive because I'm 6'4 and have a very loud gun, but you're the boss Dep," | "Shhhh… we're huntin' shitheads… Heard it in a game," | [shoots alarm boxes] "You ain't allowed to call your friends, you're all grounded," | *peggy triggers alarm* "Fuckin snitch!" 

Killing an enemy - "SKULLCRACKER!" | "I just don't miss!" | just fucking headshot after headshot after headshot | [sucks in breath through teeth] "God damn I'm good," | when shes not using her Wifle (wife rifle, a 45/70) she's being FUCKING EFFICIENT with her ak-ms or just blasting ribcages open with her shotgun

Reviving - "Up you get, baby," | "You ain't dying on me that easy, Dep" | "Not today Satan!" | "You gonna let some unwashed asshole kill you?" 

Hurt - "Motherfucker!" | "That's another scar I'll tattoo over," | "Thank god people find scars sexy," | "God fuck that's smarts!" 

Downed - "Dep! Give me a hand?" | "Clean up on Aisle 4 needed!" | "Don't worry about me, just bleeding out over here, no rush," 

Revived - "Drinks on me when this is over Dep," | "Thanks babe!" | "I'll kiss you when we get outta this mess," | "I owe ya!"

Driving: 

Entering a vehicle - "Lemme take over I'm a way better driver than you," | "Floor it!" | "Hang on I've got a mixtape, just hope I havent fuckin' crushed it," | [takes the opportunity to roll cigs] | *peggies roll up* "Keep her steady!" [leans out the window and headshots the peggie on their ass, causing them to crash the car, like that isnt the coolest shit you've ever seen] "Aight cool,"

Reckless Driving - "Watch the fuckin' road asshole!" | [desperately tryna grip the wheel so she can take over driving] | "STOP THE CAR! I'LL JUST FUCKING WALK!" | "Are you tryna kill us?! Fuckin' swap seats now!" | tony is the designated driver bc one she's fucking good at it and two shes also a really bad backseat driver. Just let her drive 

Changing Radio Stations - "Now don't tell Charlie I said this but some of the peggies music is actually good,"| "John's a prick but his music taste is fuckin' good," | [punches radio in when Only You comes on] "...Sorry… Force'a habit…" | "Bold and brave my ass, John looks like he needs help getting spiders out of rooms and wears fuzzy pink bathrobes," 

Idle: 

"Man, John's a freak, and yeah I mean that in the sexy way. Someone who demands so much outward control whilst being a shithead little brat likes to get trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey and stuffed like one too. Don't give me that look Dep, I'm right and we both know it," 

"That dude Jacob ate was called Miller?? God, that could've been me if I was much older and way uglier!" 

"Faith just makes me fuckin sad man. She's been manipulated and groomed into this life by fuckin Joseph- she's so goddamn young too. I'm not gonna tell you what to do Dep, but that's just my two cents,"

"Joseph's the worst kind of man- a manipulator. He tells you what you wanna hear, targets the misfortunate who have nothing left to lose, builds a fucking army out of em. The other heralds I'm ok with arresting, but Joseph's got to go,"

[Lights cig with either her fancy lighter or by striking a match on the bottom of her shoe] "Don't start smoking, Dep,  bad for your health," 

Location Specific: 

Testy Festy Aftermath - [pinches bridge of nose] "Not again…" | "Anyone got a water and like, 3 aspirin?" | "Ain't the first time I've woke up passed out in a field, won't be the last," | "Did we at least get a photo from the night? I've won the competitions here for the last 3 years in a row now, I'm not fuckin missing one cuz of these peggies," 

Falls End - "Fuckin shame to see Falls End like this, but Mary May and Jerome will take good care of her now weve got it back, they always do," | "Think we'll get free drinks for life at the Spread Eagle when this is all over? Actually, we probably won't even get free drinks for week, so for life is wishful thinking," | she enjoys playing with the singing fish on the front of the speed eagle and keeps tryna convince Mary May to let her take it for herself bc tony goddamn miller has the biggest singing fish collection in the entire county 

Seed Ranch - *loud whistle* "this place is swanky as fuuuuck… Not that big a fan of all the dead animals though…" | "IS THAT WEED ON THE TABLE? Johnny boy you fuckin' hypocrite!" | "Oh he's definitely got a secret room behind one of these bookshelves, like a home torture room? Oh my God, what if he has more than one...?" [starts frantically pulling books off shelves] | regarding his shelves with peggie memorabilia [takes baseball bat to it] | [pretends she's never been here as she frantically stuffs any of her own belongings she might've forgotten here into her bag]

Entering the Henbane - "Don't trust a goddamn thing you see here. You think you see something you're not supposed to, hit it," | [swinging at bliss induced angel/animal/faith visions] | "Can we try savin' Faith? Don't feel right killin' her, she's so young…" | "Can we go to Sharky's place? I left some stuff there that could be worth picking up,"

Hope County Jail - "Sheriff Whitehorse has always been a good man to me, Dep. Would appreciate it if he lived through this," | "I always feel like a giant whenever I come here, everyones like 5'3. Virgil, Tracey, Charles, all shortasses," | "I think it's cute they gave you a little pin! You're part of their Pride now! Or whatever the cougar equivalent is to a lions pride… do Cougars even travel in packs? Aside from when Addie used take the girls out for drinks,"

Entering the Whitetails - "Always feels like something's watchin' you in these woods. Keep your eyes peeled," | "Always felt like there's something in these woods that there ain't supposed to be…" | [Shifting from foot to foot] "Can we get a move on? Aint'a big fan of standing around waitin' to get shot by some fuckin' sniper with a bow," | [watching Jacob's video punishing Pratt] "I'll fuckin' get you outta here, Stace… you just gotta hold out a second longer," | [about all the dead bodies and 'you are meat' graffiti] "Love what Jacob's done with the place," 

The Wolfs Den - "Eli Palmer is a good fuckin man. Kind, smart, careful and ruthless against peggies. We've made a good friend here, Dep," | "Heya Wheaty! Got a few more vinyls for your collection! They're all my own though, so be careful with em," | "I don't think Tammy likes you that much Dep. I don't think she likes much of anything anymore, other than attaching jumper cables to Peggy's nipples… Oh god, my piercings hurt thinking about it," 

Joseph's Island - [hand firmly on rifle grip] | "Creepy, evil motherfucker, had him pegged right from the start. Well, not pegged. I'm not pegging Joseph. I'd rather stick my dick in a ceiling fan then go anywhere near him- I'm just gonna stop talking," | "You know what? No one else has asked it so I'm gonna- where the fuck does Joseph sleep.  In the church? In one of these houses? In the dirt somewhere? What if he hangs upside down from trees like a bat?" 

[lunasilvermorny]

Magical Creatures Everywhere SQ (Where I basically fangirl over Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn 90% of the time...)

But, as usual, we start with some bad photoshop edits!

MC: Acromantula?

Kettleburn: Chimaera?

Charlie: DRAGON!

:)

And now, to the SQ!

(with all the characters that I tagged. I promise I don’t just tag stuff without reason!)

It started with Charlie.

Yep, that’s going to be a good one.

Also, regarding what he said - you do realize that would be fatal for the students, if there were a real dragon. right? Nope, he doesn’t care.

Sane people?

So it’s good we’re the Loony Squad!

If Trelawney were here, she’d say it means:

Also, I want to point out - Charlie, Liz, Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn all in one location? This is my dream SQ!

Just the two of you took all the creatures in one go?

Whatever happened, you deserve it.

Of course he’s happy about it.

Be honest, you freed them, didn’t you?

MC: Y-you want me to help you?... HA! SUCK IT, LIZ!

Liz: ...?

MC: I still love you, though!

So, headcanon here - I feel like Luna has this special ability when it comes to animals. Yeah, it’s pretty much canon that she loves creatures, but my MC has something beyond that.

She has a special connection, not just with her pets or creatures she adopted, but any animal she encounters. It’s not like being a Parselmouth, she doesn’t directly understand the meaning of what they’re saying (except for Owls, since that’s her Animagus form), but she can feel what they want to communicate to her, and animals have a higher tendency to trust her, even wild ones. That’s the reason she can approach even dangerous creatures with confidence, because she makes them trust her and so they don’t attack most of the times.

So yeah, she’s perfect for this SQ.

Yep, that’s definitely it.

You let them loose, come on, be honest.

That’s one of the best days of your life, isn’t it?

You’d think they prefer a living tree...

Normally I’d choose the option with the book, but this time I have to go with the more headcanon leaning option - she’d probably try to talk to them in a soothing voice to calm them down.

I do have to say, it’s going to be pretty disappointing if this entire quest is just a fetch quest and nothing more.

Magic!

They look like cat grandpas.

MC: You’re going to tell Papa?

You should really know the difference, as a professor.

Wait, so you do know?

Sure... let’s go with that.

Fine, you know.

MC: 

Why does he look so terrified? Poor thing.

Grass?

You too? Wow, that’s almost overwhelming.

MC:

Aww, it’s so cute.

Oh...my god.

Anybody else hear - “Ooh, heaven is a place on earth.“ playing in their heads?

It’s not funny, it’s amazing. She just found her heaven!

Throw Barnaby into the mix and it’d be perfect.

Very convincing...

I wouldn’t call it maturity, just sheer happiness.

Oh wow. Umm.. Thank you?

That’s impossible!

Crazy idea - have you thought about using magic? You know, since you are wizards!

Back off, Filch.

Probably...

The truth?

Okay, MC, don’t freak out.

MC:

What do you mean “pretend”? You’re already a puppy.

Also, look at him!

Ah, my heart is so full right now.

Sure thing, mate.

She’s not thinking about the task, but about how she’s going to gather them all in her dorm room.

This is adorable! I can’t handle it... I just want to watch him all the way through this task.

And the Crup that sleeps next to him... Okay, THIS is MC’s heaven.

(Also, Barnaby Jr. and that Crup behind them! So damn cute!)

Because he’s a cold-hearted, murderous Death Eater.

Your soul is too pure for your family, Puppy.

That’s a bad thing, Lizard.

Alright...

Oh, you precious angel...

You do that!

Anything for Papa.

MC: Well, obviously.

Again, crazy idea...

MAGIC!

Oh yeah, that’s how he lost his eye, right?

Oof. That’s rough, buddy.

Not the moustache!

I love that that’s her reaction to what he said.

This SQ is so damn cute, I can’t...handle...it...!

It’s all fun and games, until you figure out he was behind Dumbledore’s death all along. His thirst for power knows no boundaries.

Haha, nice one, JC.

I like that.

Yeah, and questionable judgement about children’s safety.

You don’t have any authority here anymore, old man! The bowtruckle is in charge now.

So, wait...

My first instinct was for her to blame herself, but I don’t think it’s really necessary. I doubt Dumbledore would actually be mad about this whole thing.

It’s probably best to tell him the truth. (Also - blue book!)

Because they tried to move them all in one go. It was inevitable...

See? He appreciate her honesty and instead of getting mad, he’s glad she helped.

Throwing yourself under the bus is not always the best solution.

Injuries? Oof... Well, at least Papa would be happy.

Jesus Christ, Merula. If you actually hurt a creature, I would never accept any type of your redemption arc!

Is that why, in the past, you suggested making creatures fight each other for your entertainment and even straight up killing them? If that’s your kind of love, please, save it for people only.

You do you, Puppy.

What does it say about me, if it actually interest me?

It’s supposed to be a joke about Rowan’s dorkiness, but it’s a really interesting premise for an essay.

Because Dumbledore asked for more, you cheap.

The option “You’re a generous person” is just objectively wrong, also, she’s not a major suck up.

Mmm... He does have empathy, even though he’s trying to hide it. Maybe the first option?

I know he doesn’t like children, but he can’t really leave them injured like this when he has the supply for their medications.

Time to impress Papa.

Don’t worry, she aspires to become a healer, so you’re in good hands.

Yeah, and don’t forget who helped you out - your favorite student and mentee!

I want him to tag along, but maybe he should rest a bit. We don’t want him to lose another limb. (OR DO WE?)

Dammit, I’m not sure he’s going to like that answer. I hope he wouldn’t find it too boring.

That’s not a satisfied Papa...

Dammit.

Oh.

Wait, so it was the right choice?

MC: Yes! Suck it, Liz!

Liz: Seriously?

MC: Sorry, love.

That’s a big snail. I can’t wait for MC to have one of those!

Is that a huge Niffler next to Merula?

What the-?

Also, Ben is not terrified - that’s the spirit, buddy!

Wait, didn’t he say something about it earlier?

Yeah, at the beginning of the quest:

Barnaby can see into the future, confirmed!

Merula alert:

Dammit. Barnaby can see the future - busted.

I really don’t get how people can look at this screenshot and think- oh, she’s amazing.

She’s laughing at the thought of ruining people’s lives.

That’s not endearing, that’s a major character flaw and shouldn’t be celebrated.

Not to mention, a stupid plan that’s easily reversible, so she’s not just being a huge douche, she’s also being really dumb.

Mean and dumb - some people’s type, apparently.

I’m sorry, she’s just so incredibly pathetic.

Even if you like “the bad guy” type in stories, she’s incapable of even doing that correctly.

Unless you like the type that constantly humiliate themselves and showing how incompetent they are, because if so - she’s your ideal character!

Girl, you have serious issues.

Oh look, it took us 3 seconds to fix.

You’re such a mastermind, Merula.

I’m sorry, was that supposed to be a threat?

Oh, honey...

MC: DUMBLEDORE!! SHE’S HERE! THE ONE THAT DID ALL THE MESS!

To be fair, Merula is so incompetent that I doubt she’d be able to hurt anyone on purpose...

No one is going to believe you, you nimrod!

Are you really in a position to judge anyone else’s appearance, Ismelda?

Characters in this SQ: Let’s test your knowledge.

MC, a Ravenclaw:

Wow, muggles are really the true victims in this SQ, aren’t they?

Yeah, skip...

Eyes.

You’re not very reassuring, Mr. Diggory.

That’s better. Thanks, buddy.

Wait, it’s getting gradually better... Does this mean-?!

Awww! Papa’s stamp of approval!

Aww, it’s such a cutie pie!

Obviously.

That can’t be good...

Oh, right. Stalling...

Fine, but in the headcanon, she did it on her first try.

Here we go... Such a good boy.

Instant BFFs!

Thanks, Papa.

We did it! (Not that there was any real challenge, but still...)

Aww, such a nice little SQ.

Conclusions:

I really like this one. 

I spent most of my time just fangirling over Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn, which is not necessarily a bad thing, in my eyes.

I did find it a bit boring at times, but mostly it was just cute and wholesome.

I really enjoyed the company of Barnaby and Liz, though I wish they’d included them more in the plot of the SQ and not just the background. Also, I wish Charlie had a bigger role.

But overall - really cute. Good job, JC.

Bonus:

Not part of the SQ, but I just love how they sit together.

It makes much more sense to me that Barnaby would hang out with Liz than Ismelda or Merula.

[kathyprior4200]

Inside Alastor’s Head (sensitive content warning)

Part 1

 “Use the princess to convince Lucifer to hand over Hell to me. Get to know Charlie and her family, see how this so called Happy Hotel works. I can’t wait to see her face when she realizes it’s actually the Hazbin Hotel. Has a better ring to it, anyway. May as well speed up the process by bringing in Niffty and making grumpy Husk join in. It’ll be everything Charlie’s dreamed of…and when it all blows up in her face, I’ll be enjoying my popcorn.”

 “So Charlie likes music and dancing, too? How marvelous! These hotel residents can enjoy my singing and illusion magic. (They won’t know what’s coming next.)”

 “Who, me? Evil? Why would you think that? It’s totally unlike me to broadcast my massacre of demon citizens who stand in my way. (Except it is.) Man, seeing them running and sacred…reminds me of game I used to hunt when I was alive.”

 “The demon princess wants to redeem sinners. Ha! Probably the silliest claim I’ve ever heard. A nice refresher from the usual grim news on the Picture Show. Her singing was a nice bonus. Oh, the good old days of being on the air…basking in the attention and glory. I told jokes, advertised shows, announced fun events. I even got to report on murders for the news, probably my favorite part. Soooo close to being able to advertise Jambalaya. Several other announcers got the part, so I wore a disguise, snuck in one day and sliced their heads off. Still loved the expressions on their faces. Here in Hell, I have no opponents in the radio business. ”

 “Those overlords look scary and cocky, but they’ve heard the tales of me…they’re scared deep down, for good reason. Sir Pentious didn’t stand a chance when I summoned black tentacles to wrap around him and his ship. Along with my powers, I have shadowy spirits to do my bidding. That’s why you can sometimes see them when I attack. You don’t need brute force and insults to win someone over. All it takes sometimes is some illusions, a little help from the Loa…and just smiling all the way through.”

 “My microphone cane surly comes in handy. It’s what allows me to project events in front of me and broadcast them on the radio. It has a life of its own, but I’m in control, of course. All part of the magic deal with the Loa.”

 “I enjoyed watching the picture show and going to the circus when I was a boy. Watching the animals and the performers was lots of fun. I may have burned down the circus tent after being rejected from a comedian role. But it was only an accident: my fingers slipped when I was getting cigarettes for father. Whenever I got sad, my mother told me “You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” Her motto still rings true to this day.”

 “I enjoyed hunting deer in my human life, yet I also feel some connection to the animal. They’re majestic, agile, and are free to travel pretty much anywhere. Though they’re often attacked by hunting dogs…or in my case, police dogs. The beasts mauled me just before I died. It was back in 1933. Thus, for my so called evil deeds, I arrived down here in Hell. And I gotta say, it’s quite a fun place to be!”

  “Sex and romance don’t interest me. Don’t get me wrong; Charlie is a charming demon belle, and Vaggie is adorable and feisty…but they’re just a means to an end. Maybe I’m too self-absorbed to want to deal with being judged by others. More fun, less responsibilities when you’re on your own. Though, I’ll admit, I did meet a lovely lady in my human life, but, certain circumstances led to a tragic end. Don’t get me started on Angel’s disturbing sexual remarks. That gross stuff makes my skin crawl. (Heh, that stuff bothers me but seeing the blood of my victims does not. Go figure.)”

 “When I smile and touch people, I’m in control. It’s the quickest and obvious way to show my dominance. Frowning shows doubt, weakness, and I can’t afford to appear weak. When other’s try to touch me, it’s always unexpected. I can never tell what it will feel like on me. My space, my rules. Touch me too much, and I hate it. Like when he…my father…did things to me…in front of mom. Abuse, molest, he did it to both of us when the drinks were in his system. You can see why I was shocked and overjoyed when I finally stabbed the life out of him. I fled into the woods in the hours before dawn, the police hot on my tail. Saw the faces of deer before I got shot in the head. The dogs came upon me and…nothing.”

 “I got my love of cooking from my mum. One of her favorite things to make was jambalaya. A tasty cuisine of rice, chicken, sausage, shrimp, a whole bundle of things. She added so much spice to it (and accidentally burned herself making it), it almost killed her. I thought it was fabulous, the heat invigorating to my taste buds. The secret spices she used by accident? Ghost peppers and Wasabi. It reminds me of home in New Orleans…a world of music, daily life, and alas, racism. People who didn’t know me at the radio station, white people and sometimes black people, badmouthing me for my mixed Creole heritage. Once I perfected my shooting with my rifle, well…they got what they deserved in the dead of night.”

 “Ah, I loved the stock market crash of 1929! There were so many orphans, so many kids in distress! Perhaps it made me feel better to know that there were those who had it worse than me. I’ve had my share of bad luck, it was about time for others to experience some of their own.”

 “I sometimes kill people at random, when I’m especially mad. It’s sort of like a game: the more you kill, the more dominant you’ll appear. I’m not fond of killing innocent children or chasing people, I mostly prefer to catch people off guard. To slaughter them behind the curtain, if you will. I would never rape or eat another person…such uncouth, disgusting behavior. Chasing my victims takes too long. Best to go at my own pace and decide their fate for them. But no worries; for women and innocent strangers, I make their deaths as painless as I can. Gotta keep being a gentlemen in some aspects.”

  “Voodoo had been practiced by my ancestors, way back in Africa. I read about the Loas and many of them were just like me: well-dressed, powerful, lovers of food, wine, the good life. From what was passed down to me, I was able to communicate with them. They granted me their powers to use in my afterlife…but only if I was willing to suffer an “early, gruesome death,” along with the loss of a potential lady partner… you know the rest. I know some of the symbols and they provide me with visualization of the spells I want to conjure.”

 “Singing, swing music, the radio, dancing, and dad jokes…those hobbies brought light to my otherwise mundane, grim human life. Even if other people don’t find those jokes funny, I always get a kick out of them. They’re so simple…a basic for any comedian. Though I do wish I knew how to tap dance. Maybe my magic can help me out...”

  Part 2 (Sensitive Content Warning)

 “Hello mortal humans, wherever you may live. For those who may not know me, I’m Alastor, the Radio Demon from Hell. Thank you for tuning in to 66.6FM, the only radio station in Hell and the only one I can talk into in your world.

 You may be thinking, demons aren’t real. Hell and Heaven aren’t real. He’s probably just using a low radio voice for effect. Well in a way I am, (laughs). But I can assure you…I’m very much real, though not really alive anymore. You see, with the help of some imps from Immediate Murder Professionals, my shadow has access to portals from Hell to Earth. He is Rotsala, and he can travel through radios like I can. He’s been lurking everywhere; in your car radios, those alarm clock radios you have in your homes. And recently, (with Vox’s help), he’s figured out how to access online podcasts, if that’s what they’re called. Thanks to him, I’ve gotten updates on your modern world. It’s very strange and very wild…I’ll never really understand it. Mostly because I’m from the early 1900s and I’ve been in Hell for decades.

 Now, if you remember from last time, I discussed my thoughts on the Hazbin Hotel in Hell and Charlie. About how she was a lovely friend and you she would be of great use to me to take her father’s place on the throne. And you got a glimpse of my love of cooking, sewing, singing dancing, along with the obvious killing and eating people part. I could talk for hours about myself, but not this time. On this broadcast, I’m here to talk about all of you.”

 “No, no, no, don’t try and turn the radio off. I have it stuck on full volume, so much that even covering your ears won’t do. You probably already know that I constantly smile to show my dominance and power. Frowning indicates weakness. But…I have learned there are a few exceptions when it comes to showing other emotions. I am…actually upset. Very rarely do you find me in this state. So unless you want my shadow to rip you apart from your insides, I suggest you listen very, very, carefully.”

 “First, let’s discuss this global pandemic that you all are dealing with right now. You refer to it as the corona virus or Covid 19. It seems that everywhere, people are dying right and left as this virus rapidly spreads. Jobs are being lost, entertainment sites shut down, people stuck in their homes for months, wondering if they’ll make it through all this.”

 “I’ll admit, this pandemic is just as entertaining as the Stock Market Crash of 1929. So many orphans, so many hungry people waiting in line for food, or not being able to be with their loved ones. Mostly it’s fun to watch because I’m already dead and I like watching others suffer. (sighs)”

  “But yes, it’s also a mixed bag. When I took a peek at modern New Orleans I was frankly stunned like a deer in the headlights. (audience laughter). How utterly lifeless it was! Bands not playing live anymore, restaurants closed. Even more shocking, Mardi Gras was cancelled! I grew up with the parades and the laughter and music in my previous life. To have all that taken away…I might as well have died sooner. It really is a shame how we take everyday life for granted…we’re not concerned about death or loss until it hits us right in the face. Trust me, I’ve been there. Back when the 1918 Spanish Flu killed my mother. Back when I cried at her gravestone even with a large smile on my face. That day that I lost all sense of humanity and became the demon I was destined to be.”

 “But what of you folks? You wear facemasks every day, you wash your hands, you pray every day that somehow, you and your families and friends and loved ones will get through it in several years. Maybe you will. Maybe you won’t. One good thing about the pandemic: the enforcement of the six foot rule. Social distancing is essential, and I think it should be mandatory in Hell! I hate being tainted and touched, that’s why I wear my gloves all the time. If only Angel Dust had that rule drilled into his head, it would make my afterlife so much easier. I always wash my hands before and after cooking, and especially after getting my victims blood all over them. You should too. Pure common sense. You can never be too clean and careful no matter where you are.  But enough about that.”

  “Hell is being more overpopulated than usual, and now I can see why. Thousands of people dying and being sent down here…I bet that stuffy hothead Stolas is having a party now that he’s not lonely anymore. You all are careless fools. You huddle close together during protests or pool parties or fight each other in grocery stores. All you think about is yourselves, hording toilet paper and food and not thinking of those who might actually need it more than you.”

  “That drama gets old fast, even for me.”

 “Many believe they have their rights taken away just because they can’t go to the Picture Shows anymore. Well let me tell you this: nurses, teachers, policemen, caregivers…they’re all risking their lives on the front line trying to heal others and slow down the spread of the virus. They witness deaths all the time and for every person they don’t manage to save, they feel guilt that will weight them down for weeks, months or even years. And the majority of you laze around, too absorbed in your own worlds to take notice.”

 “Want something to do to cure your agonizing boredom? Well, sadly, killing and cannibalism isn’t recommended as you would put your health at risk. But you can try new recipes at home. Learn how to make classic foods, especially good Creole dishes like Jambalaya. If you can make it better than me and my mother, I’d be impressed but we all know that’s not going to happen. Sing along to some songs. Listen to the radio. Watch some classic musicals.”

“Or for the online folk, watch the Hazbin Hotel! Make art and stories about me torturing my enemies. Laugh at all those who ship me with other characters because we know that I’m not interested in sex and romance. But to be heard…those who attack other people in the fandom over tying me down with Charlie and Angel and whoever else…stop it. Enough is enough. Respect other people’s fan works and let them indulge in their crazy imaginations. I belong to no one and I will befriend and flirt with others however I see fit. “Some asexuals and aromantics can still fall in love and enjoy sex.” Yes, that’s true, but my standards are different. Back to the virus…there are some people that deserve to get sick from it. The whole world could get infected and die but I’ll still be thriving in Hell…provided that I don’t get killed.”

 “I don’t really care about any of you. I’m just here to bring you the harsh truth. Doctors and essential workers are trying their hardest to make sure you all and enjoy your mundane lives. There’s no need to glorify them as heroes either. Just treat them with respect and move on. Patience is a virtue…I know that many of you need to go back to work, but putting others and the community at risk will just create an ongoing vicious cycle of misery. But if you want to expose yourself in the name of “making America great again” or wherever else you are, then be my guest. I’m always up for more prey to hunt down here.”

 “Now, onto the second topic: protests. Believe it or not, I, too, was saddened and shocked by the death of African American mortal George Floyd. He’s up in Heaven, not with me, so don’t fret.”

 “Yes, I’m entertained by the violence, cars setting on fire, the screams and yells, very thrilling! But to be honest, sometimes I feel safer in Hell in comparison to what’s going on in your world…and that’s saying something.”

 “All the riots going on, protesters being sprayed with teargas, being hit with batons. Looting, shooting, all of this madness going on. Charlie says that inside every demon is a rainbow, but I say inside every demon is a lost cause. Perhaps we’re both right. Though they’re may be some good inside everyone, we’re all imperfect lost causes. We’re subject to sin, violence, discrimination, and endless chaos. We are failures. It’s inevitable. There was no hope for me, and now there’s no hope for any of you.”

 “Police brutality needs to end. They are supposed to protect you folk, not use power to push everyone back for no reason. The rioters who looted stores, set cars on fire and put others in danger like that, need to take full responsibility for their actions. They don’t need to unleash their pain and rage onto the city and others. Killing and chaos is my job, no theirs.”

  “Racism, sexism, homophobia, they’ve been around since mankind became civilized. Black Lives do Matter. Those who have been downtrodden, beaten up, pushed to the side like dirt, need to have their voices heard. Otherwise, those in power will keep using and abusing their power and authority until there’s nobody left.”

 “Just take those white police and your president for example. The policeman arresting George Floyd and pressed a knee onto his neck for no apparent reason, other than he was a person of color who so happened to be caught doing something wrong, at least to them. He kept saying “I can’t breathe” and no one stepped in to stop the situation. The policeman was arrested but that’s a mere slap on the wrist in comparison to a life lost. The cops involved need to experience the same fate.”

 “And don’t even get me started on this Trump. A narcissist who sees himself as America’s God and has a cult of brainwashed voters and supporters. One who throws tantrums whenever someone disagrees with him. He sees women as sex objects and minority groups as tools and trash to be disposed of. Tear-gasing innocent protesters while holding a Bible posing for pictures. Satan himself would be shaking his head at this. Life on Earth was Hell for me and apparently it’s gotten even worse.”

 “And not to mention Trump boastfully claiming that he’d unleash vicious dogs and military force on protesters. Only a few people would see that he inadvertently made a reference to when African Americans and ethnically diverse people were attacked by police dogs when protesting and trying to make their lives better. As a biracial French Creole who was mauled to death by dogs, I’m offended and appalled.”  

 “Oh but I’m just a fictional character who can love or hate anybody. I bet I love Trump and Angel and world suffering and sex just because I’m a crazy furry demon. Right? Right?”

 *intense static and screeches*

 “GROW UP. WAKE UP. IF YOU THINK ANY OF THOSE THOUGHTS, THERE’S A SPECIAL CIRCLE IN HELL FOR YOU.”

 (deep breath) “Apologies.”

  “All Lives Matter? Wrong. A pathetic way to derail from the main problem and include white people so they can play the victim. The truth is, no lives matter except my own. Second to my life is my mom, Charlie and her friends. (Except Angel). Charlie’s project of rehabilitating sinners will eventually come to an end when humanity suffers a Greater Depression and all fall down into Hell. I have all of eternity to witness the end.”

  “Onto the last topic. You know that I secretly desire to take over Hell and spread chaos to Earth and Heaven, yes? If Charlie behaves, she’ll get to rule by my side along with Husk, Niffty, Mimzy and Rosie. Will that happen? Who knows? You’ll have to stay tuned for the next episode, if it even comes. (laughs). You’ll never know what happens next, just that everyone enjoyed my jambalaya at the hotel.”

 “Oh dear, did I strike a sensitive nerve? Did that hurt your insides and your mind more than our previous topics? You’re even more pathetic than I thought.”

 “But have you ever considered any underlying reasons as to why I enjoy spreading chaos and destruction? I may not be God but I do have god-like powers.”

 “The obvious answer? Sheer absolute boredom! I’m always seeking new forms of entertainment to enjoy. And what better way to do that then to watch sinners scream and tremble at my presence? Of course, I would always like my friends to smile and have fun with me, singing dancing, making deals, or whatever.”

 “But let’s say I was God? Why send Exterminators to reap Hell of demons every year. To curb overpopulation, yes, but to also remind demons of their place. God and the angels and the chosen reside in “paradise.” Only those who are fully “good” and devoted to helping others and believing in God can enter. It’s the perfect fear tactic: remind demons that they are lost causes who deserve to suffer and potentially met their end.”

 “Perhaps I do want to help Charlie with the hotel. Not just for entertainment but to introduce her to the way real life works. Seeing others fail will happen no matter what and that will be a pleasing sight. Demons reside in Hell due to the lives they’ve lived before. There’s no undoing what is done. Even if she does manage to redeem a sinner or two, there will always be those who try to claw their way up and then tumble back down to failure. I am a deal-maker, perhaps the most untrustworthy one in Hell. I want to test others, see how powerful and smart they really are.”

 “This all ties in to a larger lesson that is bigger than any of us can comprehend. With the pleasures of drugs, sex, killings and sin, comes the cost of knowing you are seen as outcasts deserving of death by those in the heavens. Whether it’s Angels, Exterminators, Overlords or people in politics and management, the elite have always used power, fear, rules, and any means necessary to keep people in line in the name of “order” and “God’s will.”  Lucifer would explain this better than me as he has centuries of experience. I’m willing to bet that Charlie will learn this the hard way, sending off sinners to “paradise,” only to find that she and her parents are stuck down here forever. Earth is between Heaven and Hell; it is full of good and evil, the sins and freedoms of Hell but also the passiveness and illusions and sheep mentality of Heaven. It’s all too easy to blame others and deny what’s going on around you. Go to Heaven for an enlightened life and forget about the criminals, the homeless, and the misfits below your feet.”

 “Let me tell you what my name means. It means “tormentor,” “avenger.” I’m a seeker of entertainment who loves to torment others to boast my status. But I am also one of vengeance. Retaliation against anyone who takes advantage of others. Those in Heaven, Vox, Valentino, Lucifer, my father, all of those who treated me like dirt for who I was… my magic is there to benefit myself…but it is all used to teach others a deeper lesson in mortality and what one believes.”

 “And me being an anti-hero could somehow lead to my redemption? Ha! No. As long as more episodes don’t come on the air, then I will continue my rampages and broadcasts in Hell. And if anyone lays a hand on me, my mother, or Charlie and my friends, then they will wish they had met their fate from the virus instead.”

 “Agree or disagree with me. I don’t care. Thank you for listening and as always, stay tuned.”

[mingishoe]

if you would actually want to see one of these let me know!

(This is kinda long... I’m so sorry I’m not using the ‘read more’ option so I’m so sorry if I’m spamming your feed)

(Also PSA these ideas are all my own and Ik some of them might be a lil cliche but I promise they’re all my ideas and I didn’t take them from someone else! Except the tiktok one)

Young Dumb and Broke (Series) - So this one is a lil weird but hear me out... I’m a bitch for Sugar Daddy stories but this is like a lil twist. So basically you got out of highschool and somehow got a sugar daddy (completely legal!!!) and like you got a shit ton of money and he like paid for your first two years of college so like you’re living the life- then he like puts money in your account... like a lot of money... and he buys you a bunch of shit so you’re literally living the life in his penthouse or whatever and then like you’re like hmmm ion need a sugar daddy anymore so then you’re like lemme tell him and then he like gets mad and is like get the fuck out... then you go and find your own place and like there’s no need for you to be worried about money or anything but you still go get a job just so you can be busy and you find a cute cafe and you get a boyfriend who happens to be your old sugar daddy’s son and like shit be happening. So yeah that’s what I have as of now and I think that could be fun to write

Guns N’ Roses (one shot) - I’m an even bigger bitch for Mafia shit and like a Hongjoong/Jongho/maybe Seonghwa Ateez Mafia moment? And like maybe a lil cliche moment but like the MC won’t get kidnapped by him or whatever but like she’s a little nosy bitch. Like not an annoying nosy to where she’d get fucked up by the Mafia but like nosy so tHe ScArY mAfIa bOsS thinks she’s cute, you know? So like she obviously knows who he is and like thinks he’s hot and wants to fuck. So she messes with him and is like wHy dO yOu hAVe a bLacK eYe when she obviously knows why he has a black eye. N e way... I think it would be cute or whatever but also not like a cliche he kidnapped me and I fell in love with him kinda moment.

Pancakes? (one shot) - So I’m even a bigger bitch for hybrid fics. Ik Im a bitch for a lot of stuff sorry... N e way I don’t rly know how to write one so I’d have to do like research or whatever about it and figure out anatomy of like whatever animal I’m wanting to do (probably a puppy or a kitten or a bunny bc I’m a basic bitch and don’t wanna do something cool like a snake or anything... but like MC would find said animal sOmEwHerE or maybe adopt it from the actual animal shelter instead of a hybrid one just bc they were in the animal form and not the human-hybrid form, you know? And like they take him home and like their new pet or whatever falls asleep on her tummy and like when she wakes up it’s a whole ass man and she’s like uhh what the fuck is a grown ass naked man doing on me??? And like they both get scared and like she offers him pancakes (hence the name) and like yeah they just live life after that with some conflict but it’s all good.

Temptation (one shot) - so guess what else I’m a bitch for... Vampire AUs... like who isn’t??? So like I really fuck with San/Seonghwa vampire moment?But like I really really fuck with the MC being the vampire... like there’s not a lot of one shots or series with the MC as the vampire so I think that would be cute and different. But also again, idk too much about vampire shit besides the cliche stuff and I’m sure I could take a different route with it rather than the usual uhhh shhh don’t tell anyone I’m a vampire or imma bite you kinda stuff. Or the we met in a club and imma suck your blood and you may or may not live kinda thing, even though those are my favourites and I read those all the time.

*Idk what name yet* (One shot) - I also really really like Harry Potter house AUs with maybe San or Wooyoung of Ateez... but I’ve never seen a full Harry Potter movie in my life (please don’t attack me) and I would have to like watch the movies and read parts of the books or like research stuff about the Harry Potter houses EXTENSIVELY (unless there’s anyone who wants to help me) but I rly like the whole the really pretty girl that everyone is scared of is in the Slytherin House and the cute shy boy in the Hufflepuff House has the biggest crush on her. And like she fucks with him bc he’s a Hufflepuff but she likes him too and just doesn’t know how to show it.

Hail Mary (one shot) - So like this is probably the most cliche on the list but the fucking Priests Daughter kinda shit is the best kinda shit out there. Like I would REALLY FUCK WITH A N Y member of ATEEZ LIKE FUCK! N e way- like the MC would be the priests daughter and like E V E R Y O N E knows who she is bc 1. She’s hot. And 2. She’s known for being like a goodie goodie. She’s the kinda girl that like has straight A’s in every class, doesn’t go to any parties, is at church all day every Sunday with her father. You wear a purity ring around your finger and all the boys just want to be the one to make you take it off. But like whichever member I pick (I’ve been wanting to write this for forever but I can’t pick a member from the ones listed above) actually likes you and isn’t just fucking you to get your ring.

Bookstore Girl (one shot) - So... I’ve had this idea for over a year (way before I started writing on Tumblr) it’s not rly that interesting or really original or anything but like one of my favourite songs is Bookstore Girl by Charlie Burg and immediacy after the first time I heard it I thought “I’m writing a Namjoon fic based off of this song” and I have yet to do it. If you haven’t heard it before I really recommend you do! In the song it says “Oh bookstore girl, I wonder what your name is” and “Reading only the books that you'd recommend to me... knowing more than just your name, it wouldn’t be the same... remaining fantasy, that’s more romantic to me” and it really gave me the inspiration for like maybe the MC as the other regulars that Namjoon likes so he’s always asking her for book Recs or they’d just talk about books but he doesn’t know her name and it’s practically killing him bc he has the biggest crush on her but literally knows nothing about her. So yeah I’ve personally never rly read a fic like this??? But yeah i think it would be really cute.

Groupie (One shot) - so like PH-1 is like one of my favourite artists and like he has a song called Groupie and I think it would be really interesting to incorporate it into a fic. I was thinking maybe like Jin/Taehyung BTS or like maybe Minhyuk Monsta X would go good with this kind of fic? So like in the song it’s constantly asking if their a Groupie “Are you a groupie? Tell me straight up is you a Groupie? I’m trynna do me, don’t waste my time is you a Groupie?” And like I think it would be kinda a twist if he knew the MC was a Groupie but he didn’t care bc he actually really liked her and is willing to have her around as a Groupie than not at all. But like eventually the MC would like... stop being a Groupie? And like they’d end up together fr fr, you know?

Red? (One Shot) - So yk those TikToks, yes I have a TikTok addiction don’t come at me, that are like yOu aNd yOur sOUlMaTe sEe tHe sAmE cOlOur aNd oNce yOu fAll iN lOve yOu seE eVery cOlOur? So yeah those kind of tiktoks are really creative and I think it would be a really cool fic idea. This one is obviously not my idea but I could try and like make a spin on it??? If that makes sense? But I was thinking maybe Mingi ATEEZ

*idk a name for this one either* (One shot) - So you know how there’s like a million fics that’s like tHe dEvIls sOn, which no hate bc those hit different, but like there’s never rly any where the MC is like the devils daughter yk? I’m thinking either Mingi or Yunho Ateez. So like imagine the Devil sending his daughter to go collect this “pretty boy” and bring him down. He was said to be protected by the angles so you had to get him wrapped around your finger. You take an interest in the “pretty boy” and bring him down with you and you want him for yourself, let’s just say the Devil isn’t happy...

Wings (one shot) - So I’m really into the whole Angel/Demon and Heaven/Hell kinda thing incorporated into fics and like... I’m kinda thinking like maybe Angel!Yunho/Wooyoung(kinda funny Ik) and like Demon!San/Seonghwa and like you’re one of the few “angels” that can go back and forth through Heaven and Hell. You’re half Angel and half Demon which is the reason you could travel back and forth. You usually spend most of your time on the lower half... it maybe or may not be because of a specific Demon with wings so dark you almost couldn’t see them... however, in heaven... the boy with the whitest wings you’ve ever seen makes you want to keep going back. Your wings are gray, more specifically a dark gray meaning you’re more demonic than angelic, which makes you stand out in either place. The more time you spend with the boy with the white wings... the darker they become...

사랑해 (Saranghae) (one shot) - So like Ik there’s a lot of like HighSchoolAUs and I really really like them but I wanna take a little spin on it and do like a transfer student kinda thing. So I’m thinking maybe like Yeosang ATEEZ? So like they come to America (where you’re from) from Korea and you’re assigned to be their like? Idk what it’s called? Just kinda the person to show them around and make them feel welcome. So it’s a little bit difficult because of the language barrier so you try your best to learn Korean and he try’s his best to learn some English so the two of you could talk. You’re not good at korean, at all, but you know when you hear that word... you feel the same way.

[bumblesimagines]

Rewatching Eclipse

Thoughts and shit

"Marry me" "No bitch"

Bell clearly doesn't/isn't ready to get married

"It's called a compromise" stfu

"Knocked up" oof

Ew I'm skipping cuz this cutesy shit ain't for me

Stop being a bitch to Charlie

"Edward is in my life" i think your seventeen and you're an idiot. He's a guy.

Jake wasn't a dick when Bell was in her time of need

He really broke something from her truck to stop her from seeing a friend what a piece of shit

Love that Mike/Ned/Nate

Jasper got a new haircut

"That's what you said last time" ouch, he's right there Bell

With each passing movie, everyone gets prettier

How come they don't bother with contacts? Golden eyes aren't normal

"Super. That makes me super happy." poor Charlie

Why was she staring out into the water like that??

Her mom's cool

She looks fifteen with the sunglasses

TELL HER MAMA

Cool gift. She's not gonna need it lmao

STAY HUMAN YOU'LL FINE BETTER DICK SOMEWHERE ELSE

Y'all look like a cult standing like that

Why'd they change the actress for Victoria? It's so obvious lmao

Wolves

Half of the movies is just running

Rosalie looking out for her man

Emmett and Paul should've been friends

Wtf is that intro song for Jake?? Lmao

Bella and Jake always have angsty moments in bad weather

Stfu Ed

She deserves to know

MiSuNdErStAnDiNg

Jake lmao

He's always lying to you Bells

Jake looked really confused when Bell said she called him

I like the boots Jake

Soundtrack *chefs kiss*

All of them rushing out is so cute awe

Monologue

I love them

L E A H

I love HER

Emily owo

The boys really are like children

Jake don't be a dick Leah's cool

Sam and Leah should've talked

Imprinting is brought up. Finally.

Her her her her what about the gays, Jake?

Wait... I thought Jake did imprint but it was somehow... Not really

A MONTH???

He has a point. She hasn't even lived.

Jake is a dick but he has some fair points.

PRETTY BOY finn? Or was his name Riley?

Leave pops alone pretty boy

His eyes?? IM SO LOST

Rosalie is so 💕💕💕

She has Jake

Aye ya girl was right

You need them Ed

Same here Bella. Both of them are annoying

Monologue

Emmett and Alice look so dumb standing there lmao

Flexing on these hoes

Oof he kisses her just to piss him off

"Hey beautiful" stOP

BONFIRE

Council meeting? Oh oof

History to make her not trust vamps lmao

SETHSETHSETHSETH

OwO i love Seth. His voiceeeeee

Your as cold as ice

Nice shift there buddy.

Screaming match

She couldn't have cut her palm or some shit? But whatever! Love the story

Way to guilt trip Jake lmao

Finn/Riley looks so disgusted but he's so attractive 💕

Emmett has so much chaotic energy i love it

So his name IS Riley aight super cute

Charlie is such a good dad

you're already selfish for constantly lying to her Ed

OOH IS THIS THE SCENE WHERE SHE PUNCHES JAKE AND BREAKS HER HAND??

Mkay truth. Options.

In love or did you imprint?

She just rejected you wHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND

Lmao ain't for long

She wants to change. Ask Ed lmao

Bell is so uncomfortable poor girl

LMAO THE SOUND WHEN HER FIST CONNECTED TO HIS CHEEK JUST *thump*

The way Jake explained it is so funny

Oop Rosalie 💕

Bonding time

I AM TEAM ROSALIE fuck Ed and Jake

FUCK ROYCE

Rosalie deserved better

ROSALIE IS MY QUEEN

Jesus so silent and then just screaming lmao

Riley uwu

Alec and Jane 💕

Damn his back must hurt like a bitch

Jane's voice is so soft

Jessica's speech is *chefs kiss*

Nice party outfit Bell

I wonder if anyone stole anything lmao

Right hook lmao

Highly doubt he made anything

Did they kick everyone out??

RILEY

Oh no nvm

Yeah no shit they're after her

They were made for fighting Bell

Ooh the training scene

You've never met a newborn Bell lmao

Jake you ass

The whole ride there and he didn't notice the bracelet??

WOLVES

They look so soft

Sam noted Carlisle's words lmao

Mr. Jasper Hale

Musiccc

How come the wolves didn't train? Like with each other?

They look so soft

She's bait good to know

Jaspers backstory is so... Oof

He suddenly got an accent

Ma'am

My apologizes ma'am

As a spanish speaker, hearing that over and over again was uncomfortable

Rileyyyy

Why is he so pretty????

Ooof Victoria

as bAIT

Bella looks kind of like Elena lmao

Jake tried to be funny but got pissed off

Stinks

Jasper tried to be nice with the scent comment

"Since I let Sam"

Thanks for mentioning it Bell

But uh, Sam would beat Jacob's ass

It's called a poly relationship, Jake

She broke her hand, If I were her I'd be nervous too

Alice and Charlie.. It's uncomfy

"Like.. Alone?" you're not getting any dick Bell

Charlie said Alice x Bella rights

"wat"

Charlies attempt at the 'talk'

Old school sounds... Terrible

"I'm a virgin!" "aosjaiauha glad we covered that" "Me too!"

Just say you got jelly and go Ed

Pretty bed

She thinks she's gonna get some

"Anything you want is yours" "yoUR DICK"

Ed is a good Christian boy

Bell is super thirsty holy shit

Ed is saving it til marriage good for him

Courted you ugh

That is one ugly- Oh it's your mother's? Wow it's so cute

R I L E Y

So she's lying to him

The talon clan was what I heard lmao

She's pretty too

Put a bandaid on it sweets

What she's trying to say is "it's an ugly ass ring"

They can feel the weather??? Huh??

"Same old same old" you don't even knOW

Aaljaiaha i can imagine them fucking power walking underwater

"What can I do?" stay the hell away

I wanna know what Jake was thinking lmao

"She's in love with me too. She just won't admit it to herself" no Jacob, you're supposed to be her bestie

They're bondingggg

Jake ruined it

Ed seems really sweet and genuine in this scene

THEY 👏 SHOULD'VE 👏 BEEN 👏 A 👏 POLY 👏 COUPLE

The shared smilesss

THEY 👏 SHOULD'VE 👏 BEEN 👏 A 👏 POLY 👏 COUPLE

A flannel in the snow. Lit.

SETH

Oop-

He did deserve to know. He's not fighting lmao

"Maybe I'll get myself killed and make it simple" Go ahead and jump off that cliff/mountain your on Jake

"That's not good enough" bitch-

Jacob your a little bitch for actually kissing her

She's engaged oml lmao

PushhimoffBell

He was gonna go anyways-

More like heard

He's her best friend dude

Does nobody understand platonic love???

We love a good power couple

EMMETT AND PAUL SHOULD'VE BEEN BROS

Seth is babey

Poor Riley he's babey

SETH

Victoria is a good villian. She had a good reason to attack the Cullens.

Riley should've been adopted and become best buds with Seth

You could've just pricked your finger Bell lmao

Her eyes were open in one shot and closed in the next

Only you can prevent forest fires

Lowkey ship Jake and Leah

We can see your faces, no need to take off the hoods lmao

Billy, Carlisle, Charlie, and Sam should've started a 'Done with my children' club

Lmao Jake says Ed isn't as bad as he thought and then said he wasn't as perfect as she thought what??

Give. It. Up. Jake.

The romance field is back. Sigh.

THEY 👏 SHOULD'VE 👏 BEEN 👏 A 👏 POLY 👏 COUPLE

"Like literally stumbling through my life" lmao meee

At least she didn't say I'm not like other girls

Ugly ass ring won. Yay.

[mean-green-imagines]

His Sugar Plum

Leonardo x reader

(short fic)

Normally on Christmas Eve you would be all over the lair helping everyone get ready for tomorrow and just having a good time in general. Your favorite thing to do was to make Christmas cookies and hot cocoa with Mikey in the kitchen and you would absolutely be doing that right now...if you could even walk to the kitchen. You had given birth to a healthy baby girl, whom you and Leo named Haruhi. only two days ago and damn you wished that someone would have told you about the intense ache and soreness...down there. You were pretty much couch-bound with a soft blanket over your lap and a warm mug of cocoa in your hands as you watched the Charlie Brown Christmas special. 

“See the pretty lights, Haruhi?” you heard your husband say softly and gently to the two day old baby in his arms. She was still in that stage where she didn’t open her eyes very often but right now they were open wide and the sparkling, colored lights of the Christmas trees reflected in her dark blue eyes. You smiled as you watched him try to show Haruhi the little ornament Mikey had made special for her very first Christmas. “Your uncle Mikey made this special for you. You came just in time for Christmas, my little sugar plum.” You giggled when you heard Leo call Haruhi his “little sugar plum” and he turned around to face you with a small smirk. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing. I just like that nickname you gave our daughter.” you giggled and winked at the large turtle. Leo blushed and let out a soft chuckle, looking down at Haruhi as she started to shut her eyes for another nap in her father’s arms. 

“I just thought it was fitting since it is Christmas..” he paused. “And because she’s small and cute, like a sugar plum.” Leo felt his heart swell in his chest just by talking about how adorable and perfect his newborn daughter was. The nearly 24 hours of watching you labor and work hard to bring this bundle of joy into the world was definitely worth it. Leo had to admit that those 24 hours were probably the hardest of his life because he had to watch you be constantly in pain. He nearly had a panic attack when you said that you started to see stars for a moment. But you still pulled through and you brought a healthy baby girl into the world. 

“Oh! Oh! Do you think she would eat a sugar plum if I made one?” Mikey asked excitedly. He appeared in the living room holding a large bowl and he looked like he was mixing up ingredients for more cookies with a wooden spoon. 

“No, Mikey. Haruhi won’t even be getting any teeth for another few months. She can have her bottle though.” Leo said and walked to the fridge to get a baby bottle that you had filled with breastmilk and he put it in the microwave until it was just right for his sugar plum. Not too hot or too cold. 

“I’m sure by next year Haruhi will be able to try a sugar plum. Don’t worry, Mikey, you have plenty of time to spoil your niece.” you said, smiling once you saw Mikey’s pout turn back into his usual happy smile. Leo walked over to the couch and sat down next to you and he started to give Haruhi her bottle. 

“She’s perfect, (y/n). This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” Leo whispered to you and he leaned over to give you a kiss on the temple. You smiled and turned your head to kiss Leo on the lips before looking down at your daughter who was hungrily drinking the contents of her bottle. 

“I wouldn’t want her any other way. Our little sugar plum..” you sighed happily and leaned on Leo’s arm. Even though you couldn’t do what you normally would have on Christmas Eve, everything still felt perfect. 

[headcanonsandmore]

Is there anything you don’t like about Ron? Like I find my number one favourite characters ever annoying sometimes lol xx

That’s a very goodquestion! Yes, there are a few things that I don’t like about Ron. Obviously,the character isn’t perfect, and I wouldn’t want him to be.

1-   Ron’s lack ofself-belief

This is one ofthe things that maddens me everytime I read the HP series. From the very firsttime we meet him, Ron’s inability to believe in his own abilities stands outlike a sore thumb. In his very first meeting with Harry, Ron says that he’s“got a lot to live up”. All of his older brothers have some distinguishingcharacteristic that makes them stand out from the crowd. Bill was head-boy andwent on to be a curse-breaker, Charlie was brilliant at Quidditch and workswith dragons, Percy was very intelligent and a prefect, whilst Fred and Georgewere really funny and still got high marks.

By contrast, Rondoesn’t have a lot of room to make his own name. He even points out that ‘Everyone expects me to do as well as theothers, but if I do, it’s no big deal, because they did it first’. Andthus, Ron’s lack of confidence in his own abilities is laid out; what’s thepoint in trying if you’ll never stand out even when you do succeed?  

Throughout theseries, Ron never performs especially well academic-wise. Of course, this couldbe simply down to the fact that he was the only one of his siblings who had tostart Hogwarts with a second-hand wand (even Ginny got her own, whilst Ron hadto use his now-broken hand-me-down for the whole of his second year), but Ithink it has something to do with his own lack of self-belief.

Out of the trio,he gets the lowest marks of his OWLs (although still getting better marks thanFred and George, I might add), and has a habit of being largely ignored byteachers unless he’s doing something wrong (heck, Slughorn ignores Ronthroughout most of sixth year because he doesn’t seem him as ‘special’ likeHarry and Hermione).

Ron’sinsecurities are the main driving force behind his character arc, but it stillpains me to see Ron never believing in himself or his own abilities.

 And the worsething is- Ron is actually RIDICULOUSLY good at magic.

He is somehowable to cast non-verbal spells (somethingsixth-year students struggle with) at the age of twelve, through a brokensecond-hand wand that didn’t even choose him as its owner.

He also breaksGamp’s Law of Elemental Transfiguration while he does it (creating slugs-technically a form of food- out of nothing).

Not only that,but he also has a bizarre talent for predicting future events;

He correctly predictedthat Tom Riddle had murdered Myrtle

That Harry wouldbe happy about feeling sad in third year

That Harry wouldbe stabbed in the back by someone he thought a friend (the fake Moody)

Andhe’s really good at emotional magic;

Was the first ofthe trio to realise that the Horcrux locket was sort-of alive

Correctly guessedthat Voldemort’s name had the taboo on it

Was able to workout how the Deluminator worked, and used it to get back to Harry and Hermione

Ronwas brilliant as a wizard, but, thanks to his own lack of self-belief andconstantly getting ignored in favour of those around him, his talents werenever really recognised.

2-   Ron’s apparent immaturity

Up until GOF,Ron was the most emotionally-mature member of the golden trio. He was able tokeep a cool head in tense situations, and was able to read his friends’emotions far better than anyone ever gave him credit for.

However, in GOF,Ron’s emotional maturity (as well as his intelligence) takes a suddennose-dive. Now, I’m not saying that this was caused by JK Rowling’s meetingswith Steve Kloves when developing the film series in between POA and GOF, but it’sa possibility that Kloves’ love (read ‘idealisation’) of Hermione rubbed off onRowling, and she decided to write Ron as emotionally-insensitive (especiallywhen it came to girls) and more immature than his two friends.

The differencebetween the Ron of the first three books, and the Ron of the later four booksis quite a large one. Pre-GOF Ron was occasionally insensitive but prettybang-on when it came to people’s emotions. Post-GOF Ron had a dramatic cut tohis maturity and overall intelligence. It’s as if JK Rowling assumed that boysundergoing puberty must have their emotional maturity and intelligencedrastically reduced just because of their hormones.

And, while thatmay be true to a certain extent, it’s the fact that even Ron’s mature momentsin the later books is still framed as‘immature’ that annoys me. Even when Ron is actually acting maturely for hisage (like not talking to Hermione after she attacks him with a flock ofravenous birds- a pretty sensible response to it, I would say), Rowling framesit as immature so as to make Hermione seem more sympathetic. It drives me upthe wall.

3-   What happenedwith Lavender.

Nothing reallyto say here. I think he should have dated Luna for a bit instead. Lavender’spersonality in HBP seems really off compared to how she was written before. Lunawould have been a better fit for Ron, in my opinion. They would have made acute couple, and it would have showed Hermione that she had to show Ron affectionif she wanted him romantically. With Lavender, it was framed as ‘why is Ron dating such an irritating girl?He should be dating Hermione instead’. What would have been better forcharacter-growth (especially for Hermione) would be framing Ron dating someoneas ‘Ron responds positively when girlsshow obvious affection for him. Maybe Hermione should take this on-board’.  

Ron isn’t perfect, but that’s why I like him. He’simperfectly perfect, and I wouldn’t have him any other way. The flaws are whatmake him three-dimensional.

(Thanks for the ask, anon!)